Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Cover Please come and join Harry, Ron, and Hermione, on a road trip around the magical world of the Deathly Hollows. Or then again, don't. I don't care. And neither does Director: David Yates; and Actors: Daniel Radcliffe, Rupert Grint, Emma Watson, Alan Rickman, Bill Nighy, Rhys Ifans, and Helena Bonham Carter. But they don't care only in 2010, and for about 146 minutes.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows : The Film - The Book

Lord Voldemort (Ralph Fiennes) is a right b*stard you know. This supreme Wizard of the Muggle worlds, has nicked the wand bellowing to Lucius Malfoy (Jason Isaacs), because his own wand cannot be used to kill Harry Potter (Daniel Radcliffe).

So, does this pug faced git ever get to use this wand on Harry then? Yes. But only after Harry and the 'Order of the Phoenix' get in a bit of a scrap with the Death Eaters, resulting in both Mad-Eye Moody and Hedwig to snuff it. Still, even when Voldemont does try to zap Harry with his wand, it doesn't seem to go anywhere really. Unlike Harry himself of course.

You see, due to this tragic turn of events, Harry goes on a magical journey of all things Hallow related. For example, he has arduous visions of Mr Ollivander (John Hurt) whilst at the Burrows. Then, when Scrimgeour (Bill Nighy) suddenly arrives and gives magical artifacts to Harry, Ron (Rupert Grint), and Hermione (Emma Watson), he secretly tells Harry that he was also meant to be given the Sword of Godric Gryffindor. Moreover, when the Death Eaters attack the wedding of Bill Weasley and Fleur Delacour, our magical trio high tail it off to London, finding sanctuary at number 12 Grimmauld Place.

Funnily enough, it is here, Grimmauld Place, that they discover the false Horcrux locket is also known as the Regulus Arcturus Black (RAB), and is associated with the younger brother of Sirius Black (Gary Oldman). Not only that though, oh no. But from Kreacher (the Black's house-elf), they additionally learn that Mundungus Fletcher has stolen the real locket, and it is currently in the possession of Dolores Umbridge (Imelda Staunton).

Ha! Not for long anyway! Right, kids? As under the guise of Polyjuice Potion, the trio gain access to the Ministry, and successfully retrieve the locket, before fleeing into the wilderness.

However, unable to destroy the Horcrux themselves, the three of them decide to take it in turns to wear it in order to dilute its negative psychological effects. But in doing so, two very strange things occur:

  1. Harry sees a vision of Voldemort drilling renowned wand-maker, Gregorovitch, who states that a teenager had once stolen the legendary Elder Wand from his shop.
  2. Ron is overcome with the suspicion that Harry and Hermione are forming a relationship together, and as a result, he abandons them to their own devices. Inadvertently, this turn up for the books leaves Harry and Hermoine to then go to Bathilda Bagshot, in Godric's Hollow, where this shagged-out old historian reveals that only the Sword of Gryffindor can destroy Horcruxes. Though, on the flip-side of this, she also reveals that Hermione is the mysterious thief that Harry saw in his vision.

Oh! Isn't that just lovely, huh? This must be why what next transpires all kicks off when Harry find’s Gryffindors sword beneath an icy pond. As lockets go on the blink - Xenophilius Lovegood (Rhys Ifans) wand's made out of zinc - cloak's of Invisibility pisses of Bellatrix Lestrange (Helena Bohan Carter) - and Dobby and Draco suddenly doth change.

Beware of the Voldemort.

When I was a lad, I used to hate these types of films, mainly because of the diction that the actors and actresses used. I just thought that if someone wanted to speak gibberish to convey whatever it is they are trying to say, then they might as well become an alcoholic or something. This way this 'affliction' does give them some sort of credence for muddling their words together. You know the type of thing I am talking about, right? 'Voldemort' sounds like a 'existential chapel of rest'. 'Bagshot' comes across as a 'sexual technique'. 'Mundungus' must be 'fungus for mothers'. 'Horcruxes' could have been an 'Egyptian crucifix'. And is 'Lestrange Xenophilius' a name for a french racist?

Anyway, I am sure that you get the basic gist of where my initial stance with  'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows' is. But do you think that my emotions will make me hate it more or like it less?

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Three

Depends really. Personally speaking, I found that this penultimate chapter of the Harry Potter saga, sets out and accomplished exactly what it wanted to do – titivate. Granted, this was most probably an easy thing to do considering that the previous three chapters were somewhat... zZZzzzZZ! As well as that the last chapter of this series is coming out later this year (2011, for those of you who are still on medication).

However, is it just me, or has the Harry Potter franchise become more Gothic and frantic in tone as of late? It’s as though that the once magical fairy tale of youthful exuberance, has developed into a goth-like deluge of darker proportions with the shakes.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows

OK, I have to admit, I do prefer this take compared to the earlier ‘Disney-esque’ outings. But I have to say that not everyone is as open minded as me (don’t laugh). You see, the one thing that does grate me somewhat with this series, is that most of the ‘powerful magicians’ speak like chartered accountants from Surrey, whilst all of the lowly elfin folk speak like I’s do, in mi empec-a-bull-waze.

Know what I mean mucka?

Now is this a subconscious class distinction thing going on here? Also, is 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows', a densely disguised re-make of the classic road movie, 'Easy Rider'? Just with less drugs! Moreover, did you know that the name Harry Potter is Greek origin? It means ‘the repairer of broken vases’. Or something like that anyway! I told this to my nephews when this franchise first started out, and they thought that I was nuts.

Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows No Nose

Ha! Kids today. No sense of adventure. Unlike Daniel, Emma, and Rupert of course. Who really do put a lot of themselves into this flick, you can just tell by the way they act on screen. Plus I suppose of some level you can say the same thing about the more mature actors as well. Helen is a witch I'd love to show my magic wand to. Ralph and Gary are the men that do w*nker to a tea. Ifan is always a wild-card in my deck. And John and Bill have always been great at doing what they do best - subvert.

Overall, 'Harry Potter and the Deathly Hollows' is a great dark ‘travelling film’ to watch if you’re a goth who likes the sound of accountants talk Shakespearian to common folk. A fairly solid Grimm's fairy tale disguised as a road movie. Cor’ Blimey! Right Emma?


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