DEUCE BIGALOW - EUROPEAN GIGOLO

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Deuce Bigalow - European Gigolo Cover Prostitution is an age-old profession that hires man, woman, and goat alike. Moreover, not only does this vocation touch upon human kind, but it also touches upon the movie industry too. Like who? Well, to name but a few, there is Director: Mike Mitchell; and Actors: Rob Schneider, Eddie Griffin, and Hanna Verboom. Especially some time in 2005, which lasted for about 83 minutes. Nice.


Deuce Bigalow - European Gigolo


THE STORY:
I am afraid to say that Deuce Bigalow (Rob Scheider) has a bit of a problem to deal with. No. It does not have anything to do with him having to flee America because of charges filed against him. Also, no, it does not have anything to do with him visiting his gigolo peddling pimp pal, TJ (Eddie Griffin), in Amsterdam. Plus on to of that, no-no-no, it does not have absolutely anything to do with Amsterdam’s pot smoking and sexually blatant climate either.

OK. I lied. It is because his pal, TJ. He has been accused of murdering gigolo’s in the area, and Deuce has to now prove his innocence.

Ha! But how how the hell can he do that, huh? Hallucinate about Kelly Brook? Yes - he can do that - and he can also obtains the client list from one of the dead gigolo’s pals, and then use this source of information to figure out which one of his lady friends has committed this dastardly deed.

Oh! I almost forgot to mention. You see, Deuce suspects that the culprit is a female, because he inadvertently crossed paths with her just prior to him finding the dead body. Granted, he did mention this to the police before they arrested TJ. Though they just dismissed this fact due to a group of tourists spotting TJ dumping this body, because Deuce unwittingly brought it back to him when he found it.

Stupid, I know.

But I tell you what. What isn’t stupid, is the way that Deuce goes about going though the dead-mans' client list, visiting them, and then gauging if these ambiguous looking women are killers or not. In addition to this, Deuce being Deuce, when he figures out that none of these women are ‘bad-bad people’, he helps them out too.

My oh my! What a good guy. Stupid. But good.

And do you know who else thinks Deuce is good? No. Not Police Inspector Gaspar Voorsboch (Jeroen Krabbe). It is is his OCD nice, Eva (Hanna Verboom). She is more than accommodating towards him, and over time they grow very fond of each other as well.

Still, I suppose that is why what next transpires all kicks off at the Man-Whore Awards Ceremony? As airs are viewed – motivations mewed – bombs explode – and unison are sowed.





THE REVIEW:
Have you ever had to kill a wounded animal before? You know what I mean by this. A cat who has just been partly run over by a car. A dog who has had its paws crushed in a tractor. Or even a bird who suddenly flutters through your apartment window, with half of its body stained in blood. I have. It is a really emotional experience I can tell you.

In my case it was the bird incident. I was sitting by my dinning table filling out some paper work, and then out of the blue a pigeon darted through my sixth floor window, twitching about as if it was in pain. Well, I could not just leave it there, could I? Staining my carpet and in obvious discomfort. So I gently picked up this wounded animal in a piece of paperwork, slowly walked over to my balcony, and then dropped this poor pigeon to its death.

Sad, huh? Just like how I feel about 'Deuce Bigalow - European Gigolo'.


Kelly Brooke in Deuce Bigalow - European Gigolo


You see, the main reason why I am telling you this story in the first place, is because that is how I feel about my own views on this film. It's a wounded half-dead pigeon, I don't want to kill. Conceptually this picture is what I like to call ‘one of those films’. With a nonsensical 90 minutes worth of forced humor, with an inane plot-line, and with a cameo ridden cast to boot. OK, this may sound somewhat harsh within the scheme of things, and it is. But unlike most of ‘one of those films’, this one also has a very nice message at its center that is really quite sweet.

OK, so what is that message? Simple. People should be treated with respects, no matter what they look like. Honestly, I do find it difficult to abate a film for trying to convey a message that is just so heart-felt and warm.

But... hmmm... I'll try my best.


DEUCE BIGALOW - EUROPEAN GIGOLO WALLPAPER


For a start, the first thing that I found a 'bit off' with this movie, is that the majority of the humor is very-very predictable. On occasion, I could second guess the punch line just as soon as the first word was spoken. Also, there is the issue of the story in itself (if you can call it that), because not only does it meander in an out of gags like a snake with rickets, but – again – you can second guess where it is headed nigh on straight away.

Damn! I hate sounding so harsh about this flick, but I can only express what I truly feel, right? And what I feel about this movie is that it could have been so much better, if it concentrated more on developing plot and character, rather than silliness for silliness sake.

Heck, I only managed to watch this film from beginning to end, because Rod and Eddie worked so well together, that they made this silly film that little more palatable. Rob just conveys his sweet and helpful nature through the screen in a very charming way. Plus I cannot help but crack a smile whenever Eddie opens his mouth and cracks a funny. Also, Hanna plays the girl with flaws so well, that I hardly thought about rubbing my cock when she was on screen.

Hardly.


Girls of Deuce Bigalow - European Gigolo


Overall, I suppose for the positives alone, 'Deuce Bigalow - European Gigolo'  is worth the watch – that plus the nudity and the message behind it. I wished that this ‘comedy’ could have been that much better. Sad but true. Agreed big-breasted Kelly Brook?




THE RATING: C