SILLY SONGS AND MUSICAL MONKEYS

Did you know that comedy is the new Rock and Roll? Serious. Mike Jagger told me this fact as soon as he got off of the stage at the Comedy Store. True - he came right up to my face, and then with those bubbly lips of his, said something that sounded like ‘Comedy is the new Rock and Roll’. Or else he was asking me for money?


80's Music R Us

• The Beatles ‘Money can’t buy you love’ – But it can buy you a house.
• Elvis Presley ‘Return to sender’ – Unless there’s a postal strike.
• Elton John ‘She lived her life, like a candle in the wind’ – No wonder she’s dead then.
• Yazz ‘The only way is up’ – Unless your bungee jumping.
• Dusty Springfield ‘The look of love, is in your eyes’ – Or it could be cataracts.
• Elvis Presley ‘You are always on my mind’ – And that is why I am on so much medication.
• Fat’s Domino ‘I found my thrill, on Blueberry Hill’ – How much did it cost?
• The Beatles ‘Oh dear what can I do, babies in black, and I’m feeling blue’ – Correction, your baby is black and you have a cold.
• The Jackson Five ‘Don’t blame it on the sunshine, don’t blame it on the moonlight, blame it on the boogie’ – Or in literal terms, I plead the fifth your honor.

• The Beatles ‘Please-please me, oh yeah, coz I need you’ – Plus a restraining order.
• Rihanna ‘What’s my name?’ – Emmm? Rihanna?
• Katy Perry ‘I kissed a girl, and I liked it’ – Good for you, lesbian.
• Foreigner ‘I want to know what love is, I just want you to snow me’ – Help?
• Gladys Knight ‘I have a license to kill’ – RUN AWAY!
• Monty Python ‘Always look on the bright side of life’ – RUN AWAY AGAIN!
• Human League ‘Don’t – don’t you want me’ – No.
• Righteous Brothers ‘You lost that loving feeling’ – I think it’s somewhere behind the sofa.
• Carly Simon ‘Your so vain’ – Yeah? And you smell of s**t!