You Don't Mess With the Zohan
Iranian warrior, raconteur, lady’s man, and all round fighting machine - these are the labels which you can tarnish the mighty Zohan with (Adam Sandler). But what about wannabe American hairdresser? Or even dead man? Well, the Palestinian terrorist known as the Phantom (John Turturro) gives Zohan these names, after a fight between them ensues, in which Zohan fakes his own death and leaves for America.
Now once in America, Zohan tries his best conforms to what he thinks is American. He cuts his hair. He wears flamboyant clothing. He pretends that he is Australian. Plus he uses the name Scrappy Coco, and attempts to gain employment in a top Broadway stylists.
However, I am afraid to say that this venture does not really go according to plan for Zohan, and reluctantly he sets out into this brave new world, and tries to do things somewhat differently.
For a start, Zohan befriends some chap called Michael (Nick Swardson) - whom gives Zohan a place to stay as well as a Mother to bang. Plus in addition to this, Zohan meets up with an old pal of his, Oori (Ido Mosseri) - who inadvertently steers him to get a job at a struggling hair-salon belonging to a Palestinian woman named Dalia (Emmanuelle Chrisiqui).
Oooh! Palestinian? Doesn't this fact bother Iranian Zohan at all? No - not really - as he just loves his time working in this shop, shagging all of the old ladies that come his way, whilst gaining notoriety for Dalia's business as well. In fact, Zohan does so well with his customers, that Palestinian cab driver, Salim (Rob Schnieder), recognizes who he truly is, and informs his superior's back home that Zohan is alive. And is that wasn't bad enough, a big business conglomerate called Walbridge, wants to ruin small businesses in the area, so that they can then built a shopping mall situated on this site.
Well, I suppose that is why what next transpires is a right pain in the couscous I can tell you. As Iranians fight back - Palestinians make up for the slack - families have a snack - and Mariah Carey shows some crack.
"Don't Mess with The Zohan"? My God! What kind of title is that for a film? They should have called it “Gone with the Wind Part Two: Gone with the Fishes” instead. Well, to be blatantly honest with you, it is a film that does belong with the fishes – in a nice way of course.
You see, in a rather silly way, this movie tackles a rather serious subject matter – Iran Verses Palestine – by taking it in it's grasp, subverting it, screwing it up, chucking it in the canal, and then doing what most good films do best... takes the p*ss.
Here, have a look at some Zohan facts: (1) This film was delayed by six years, due to the 9/11 terrorist slant to this picture. (2) Zohan was loosely based on a former Israeli soldier / hairdresser, Nezi Arbib. (3) The majority of the weaponry used in this film were manufactured by Israeli Military Industries. (4) Zohan isn't an actual Israeli first name. And (5) This was the final film appearance by comedian, Dom DeLuise.
In closing, I like to surmise that on some subliminal level, what 'Don't Mess with the Zohan is trying to say, is that money is the main problem in the Middle East. Personally speaking, I always found that the best way of saying some like this, is with a satire such as this film. Well, what better way to poke fun out of a political problem, than with something like...
Kudoes to Adam Sandler and all involved for making a really enjoyable film, one that has a subliminal message – a blatant boisterous nature – and overall, a watchable gag fest full of satire. Lovely.
THE RATING: A