CURSE OF THE CURSES

Has anybody ever wound you up so much, that you wanted to cut them down to size, in the most scathing way humanly possible? Come on you stupid a$ wh*le! You know you have! I saw you squirming last night, when that overweight chap who looked like the love child of Yoda and Chewbacca, pounded you into oblivion with his high-pitched Minnie Mouse type voice. But don’t you fret! Why not? Read on... and you may learn something


Creative Cursing

• If you got hit by a car – right here right now – I’d feel sorry for the car.
• I hope that all your teeth fall out, except for the ones that will give you toothache.
• May your youngest daughter grow thick and wild hair in abundance - specifically all over her face.
• Did you know, that you’re so ugly, people join the Army just to get away from you.
• I hope that Father Christmas leaves you something special in your stocking, preferably, what he ate the night before.
• May all of Santa's reindeer get the shits on your roof!
• The only way that you would look cool, is if you caught pneumonia.
• Do you know what would be a fitting epitaph for your grave? "Alleged child molester."
• Soap Operas are not far fetched, as most of the storylines that they convey – like rape – child molestation – abuse – and necrophilia – all came from your family’s history.
• You smell like fermented sushi salvaged from a skip.
• Most of the nutters in programs like X-Factor, are more grounded in reality than you are.
• You should be kicked off of facebook, and then join two-faced book.
• Have you ever tried surfing on your father’s coffin? I have.
• Did you have open-heart surgery, and have you heart replaced with shit.
• Try holidaying in Harlem with a Klu-Kluc-Klan costume on – it worked for your relatives.
• Afghanistan – Vietnam – Iraq – and your mother... guess which one has had the most solders in them.
• When you look into the mirror, have you ever felt happy afterwards?
• Your so fat, that your don’t walk, you roll.
• I know of deformed monkeys that are better looking than you are.
• Why don’t you turn into a chandelier, and hang all day and burn all night!
• Didn't you ever wonder why your parents hate you so much – you’re the f**king bin-mans bit of trash!!!