NEW GUARDIANS #3

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[ CHRISTMAS IS COMING
There once was an immortal race. Whom were all quite blue in the face. The Guardians were their names – they all had short frames – as well as red dresses made out of lace. Want to know more? Then have a look at this tale by Writer: Tony Bedard; Artist: Tyler Kirkham; and Publisher: DC Comics in December 2011.

So what’s the story morning glory?
This third part of the ‘New Guardians’, is a story presented in three overlapping parts.

Now the first part involves Kyle (whom has been supercharged, with his rings of many colours) using his ‘new’ power to defend himself from the Guardians. Granted, this does not really play out too well for him – as the power overwhelms him – he falls to the floor in rags – and then Salaak gives him a slap for being a ‘very naughty boy’.

Next, the second part of this tale, is how the ‘other rings-people’ all join together, and then fly off to Oa, to see what is happening with Kyle. Ooops! Not a good idea – as the Guardian’s ‘do a dirty’ – and give them a good slapping too.

And finally, the last part of this tale, is that how after Kyle gets a slap from Salaak, the orange ring of greedy b*stard-ness decides to stays with him – prompting the re-emergence of  ‘Glomulus’ to defend Rayner, before anarchy ensues with the other ‘ring’s people’, and someone else from the orange corps shows his face too...

Agent Orange.

What is the most memorable sentence spoken in this issue?
OK, I know that it was not meant to be funny, but I did find it amusing when Salaak slapped Kyle, and then said ‘Forgive me, my Guardians, but I am sick to death of mutinous Lanterns and Rings that refuse to obey’.

Maybe it is because I presume that Salaak sounds like Kermit the Frog.

Was the story any good?
Yes – well – the story was much better than last issue’s efforts anyway. Personally speaking, I found that this was largely due to the tale primarily being set on one location, and it involving one set of characters. OK, I know that this does sound kind of lame within the scheme of things. Nevertheless, this ‘grounding’ allowed for the overall story to unveil itself – like a theatre play or stage production.

Its all to do with the framework dear reader – the slight character development was a bonus.  

Was the art any good?
Again – I would have to say ‘Yes’. You see, I surmise that artist, Tyler Kirkham, has both a dynamic and lethargic style to his panel layouts. Dynamic, because his foreground-work is bold and vibrant. And lethargic, because his background-work is non-existent in places, thus diluting the image as a whole.

OK, I know that this sounds like a somewhat nit-picky thing to say. But I do honestly feel that the lack of background does temper the bigger picture.

What is the best thing about this issue?
For me, I loved the inclusion of the Orange gits in this issue. Glomulus reminds me of Slimer from Ghostbusters, and Agent Orange reminds me of Gonzo from the Muppet show.

Damn! I just realised that this book is slowly becoming an eighties pastiche! Yowser!

Also, another thing that I liked, was the way how Salaak had some time to shine in this book. Salaak is a corpsman whom has gone through many ‘alterations’ within his twenty odd years in comic book lore, and he does disserve the spotlight in at least one comic again.

What is the worst thing about this issue?
Now what I am about to say is partly due of the people associated with the current incarnation of the Corps, plus, the people whom devised the visualisation behind the Guardians.

Nag One: Who in there right minds would be scared of small blue old men in red dresses? To me, what made this issue feel a bit silly, is the sight of the Guardians doing battle – felt too ‘cosmetic’ – staged even.

Nag Two: Why are the Guardians turning into ass-wh*les all of a sudden? OK, I know that this is part of a ‘bigger picture’, which is running throughout the other ‘Lantern titles’. But it is starting to become a bit boring, seeing these blue immortals making the wrong decision again and again and again.   

If you could sum up this issue in a phrase or saying, what would that phrase or saying be?
I am afraid to say, that my previous point raised about the Muppet show, is still ringing around in my mind. Therefore, I have to proclaim the Fozzie bear saying of ‘Wagga-Wagga-Wagga’!!!!!

If this issue were a movie, an object, or a piece of music, what would that be and why? 
DAMN YOU MUPPET SHOW! Please don’t make me include you HERE as well!

OK – you win – sigh!

This issue reminds me of the The Muppet Show, because otherwise both Kermit the frog and Gonzo are going to beat the sh*t out of me.




Wagga-Wagga-Wagga!

What do you think would have made this issue better than it was?
I would have liked to have seen more of the ‘other coloured Lanterns’. Well, at the moment, their characters have not come through within this new series, and I would like to know who they are and what they are all about – rather then just the colour of their rings (if you get my meaning).

Final thoughts...
Now this issue was an improvement over the last issue. The art was better – the story was better – and the overall package was better too. However, we still need to know what the f*ck is going on with Kyle, we still need to know who these ‘other lanterns’ are, and we also still need to know if the Guardians wears boxers or briefs.

At least within the next two issues or so. Plus some fleshed out concept too. 

Marks out of 10? 8