THE DARK KNIGHT #7

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The fight you have been waiting for is here. Its Batman verses Bane with no fear. Batman is a card. And Bane thinks he's hard. Whilst the white rabbit looks good in her gear.  Honest. As told to me by the combined creative team of Paul Jenkins and David Finch; with special guest star, Publisher: DC Comics in April 2012.

So what’s the STORY morning glory?

Now this issue of The Dark Night, entitled 'The Final Curtain', is in fact like a curtain, flittering back and forth for no reason what so ever.

You see, at the moment, Batman has been turned into punching-bag by the villain called Bane, and has just about managed to get away from him to save his captive, Poison Ivy.

And do you know what? It is a 'good thing' that he does you know! Because Ivy gives him a 'special potion' to turn Bane into a bong, so to speak.

However, Batman isn't able to dispel this drug, not until Bane gives him a couple of more slaps, and when the Flash reverses his drugged fueled dilemma, and halt's Bane long enough for Batman to do this deed.

Great news, right? Well, not to White Rabbit it's not. Or should I call her Bruce's bosom-buddy, Jai's, double?   

What is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?

Err? I am not really sure if there is anything memorable in this tale? Though I suppose I did like it when the Flash said to Superman "I may have been running round in circles for a couple of days, but I did not lose my sense of direction" before he then zoomed off into the distance.

Well, it is kind of pithy as a quote.

What was the BEST thing about this issue?

On a conceptual level, I did enjoy how the story felt very simple as an overall narrative. For example, Batman escapes from Bane, save Ivy, Flash gets better, blah-blah-blah. Also, in many ways it did remind me of an early silver age yarn with better artwork.

What was the WORST thing about this issue?

The problem with this series is that the story is sparse, and the personality is non-existent. This book is the Paris Hilton of the DCnU. Nice to look at and flick through. But at the end of the day you might want something without a strained past. Plus, what the hell was that Jai / White Rabbit end-note all about? A person who can be in two places at once! Hmmm. Judgement reserved for the time being.

What was the most CREATIVE thing about this issue?

STORY: I found that the only creative element in this story; was how Batman bumped into the lighthouse by mistake, and how the Flash ended up saving him. Well, they are both 'new', right? And something I have not seen in a comic book before.

ART: I cannot really say anything bad about David Finch's artwork. In this tale I liked his rather grand panel layouts, which had that very cinematic and clean quality to them. Moreover, I do like how he draws women - the dirty sod.  

If you had to CAST TWO CHARACTERS in this comic book, who would they be and why?

JAI: She's tanned. She has nice hair. She's got a good body on her. Plus she does not have to do too much to get male attention. Kim Kardashian? Maybe she can act?

THE FLASH: In this book, this super fast hero comes across as being brave, a bit clumsy, and a stubborn sod as times. So if you could get actor / singer, Justin Timberlake, to tidy himself up and style his hair in the right way, that would be a nice fit, huh?

If this issue had a MOVIE TAG LINE, what would it be?

Never Fight Men Who Are Bigger, Stronger, Or Faster Than You, Unless You Have Some Drugs At Hand.

If this issue were a MOVIE, an OBJECT, or a piece of MUSIC, what would that be and why? 

I have said it now, haven't I? This comic book is Paris Hilton. Do I really need to explain any more relatable details? Granted, Batman has not made a sex-tape yet. But then again there was that 'Batman XXX' parody jiggling about all over the internet.

I best keep quiet I think.

FINAL thoughts...

OK, I know that I have not been too kind about this issue all in all. Though I have to admit, that compared to some of its previous chapters, I did prefer the simple quality to it much-much more. Also, now that this first arc seems to be over and done with (kind of), maybe next issue could be a much better read. The White Rabbit / Batman thing does sound like nice concept, huh? Could make for a nice porn too!   

MARKS out of 10? 7.5