Have you ever taken drugs before? You know. Hard drugs. Very hard drug. Drugs that can transform your mind into mush, and warp your perspective into a fictitious and honest politician without any agenda. If not. Don't worry my friend. Just check out this interview I had with my mate's Rob and Eric, only the other day. It was just prior to them singing a rendition of 'The Monster Mash' stripped bare naked.

New logo with all kinds of size

1) What are your own origins, Rob and Eric? Plus how did you two first meet up?    ROB: My father was working in the lab late one night. When his eyes beheld an eerie sight. For his son from his slab began to rise. And suddenly to his surprise. I did the mash. I did the monster mash. It caught on in a flash, and in those days, Eric was known as Baby Dracula. We sort of just hit it off. Nuff said.

ERIC: We met as two awkward kindergarteners 20-something years ago. Our friendship waned and grew stronger over the years, but our awkwardness never changed. Towards the end of high school we collaborated on another webcomic called "Mall Monkeys" that was even more terrible than Hatefarm. It was there I learned how to pander to the internet crowd with immature sex jokes and Rob learned to "clean up my mess" by actually attempting to write comics of substance. 10 years later we banded together again to make the internet an even worse place then it already is with Hatefarm.

2) What inspired you to create your web-comic, ‘HateFarm’?   ROB:  think the public demand was too high not to create it. People would send us letters all the time saying "We want something called 'HateFarm' to exist on the internet!".

ERIC: I think webcomics is one of the few mediums that really allows people to just do it for themselves. This is why there are so many bad webcomics. Drawing really f*cked up shit has always been incredibly therapeutic for me -- and I can't afford a therapist - and so I "Farm the Hate", so to speak. Also, I work as a lead animator for a studio that produces animated family films. I think I was raised a pervert but having to do kids stuff all day just exasperates the problem. Gotta get it out of my system, and if that means get a few hate mails a week, that's just an added bonus.

HatefarmI also enjoy the illusion that we are creating something unique -- even though any given Hatefarm comic is pretty much recycled material from any corner of the internet. I like to think we do it in our own unsettling, special way.

3) In your own words, how would you describe your wares?   ROB: Dusty little baubles and dirty trinkets. If I could name them, they would be 'Wary B. Wares'.

ERIC: Gooey, raunchy, sexy, vile things that make you go.....hmmmm.

4) If your style of storytelling was a piece of music or an object, what would it be and why?   ROB: It's bio-digital jazz, man.

5) What prompted you to call your site ‘HateFarm’?   ROB: Eric might tell you that we made it up, but I firmly believe we were just following God's cue cards.

ERIC: Rob might tell you that we were just following God's cue cards, but truly we just made it up. Along with a huge list of other domain names that weren't taken, like "crapfist.com" (you're welcome, young internet entrepreneur) and asked all our friends to vote on the best one. I'm pretty sure Hatefarm came in second place in the voting process which meant it was a winner in my book. Sometimes I like to pretend that "Hatefarm" is a snide retaliation to all the hate mail that we get from people who have nothing to do but tell us that we are doing it wrong or trying too hard or not killing ourselves enough

But it wasn't intended to be that way in the beginning.

Steve Buscemi
6) If you could cast a movie based on your creation, who would you cast, and again, why?   ROB: I would cast myself as myself, but Eric would be entirely CG. He would be voiced by Bronson Pinchot. Steve Buscemi in a fat suit could play Walter, the Shy Necrophiliac. I think the only other character I really created was Birthday Bear, so I guess whoever played Yogi Bear. That guy's good!

ERIC: Natalie Portman would star as our dominatrix poster-girl, Mistress Missy, and -- Oh my God! -- I can't finish this interview! I have to go to the bathroom now.

7) What was the first comic book you ever read? And do you still read mainstream comic books today?    ROB: I think the first full comic book I ever saw was a Ghostbusters one in the 80's. I don't read mainstream books anymore because everything is re-coned so often that I just haven't cared about them in like ten years.

ERIC: The first comic book I ever read was probably Sonic the Hedgehog. However the first comic book I ever loved was Earthworm Jim, and then the Maxx. I still love the Maxx and look to it as a main source of inspiration for this story I am trying to write called Merry Melony.

I read the occasional graphic novel when it is recommended to me by someone. I wish I read comics more, but honestly the good stuff is way too hard to find.

Tom Hanks
8) If you could get a celebrity – either living or dead – to promote ‘HateFarm’, who would you nab, and why would you want to nab this particular person?   ROB: Nicolas Cage is great internet bait, but I want to be clear that my choice of him is not ironic in anyway. I sincerely believe he's the most fascinating human being and entertainer in my lifetime. Stop only making fun of his work and actually watch some of his older stuff, internet.

ERIC: Tom Hanks, because everybody respects Tom Hanks. Everybody. And then I would ask him out on a date, or if he's not a homosexual (It's okay, I'm not either), I would ask him to be my father.

9) What piece of advice would you give to someone else trying to produce a similar project?   ROB: Do it. If you think you don't know how, make it up. If you can't motivate yourself to try, you don't deserve to be doing it. This pretty much applies to everything in life. You're welcome.

ERIC: Don't put as much work into the art for a gag-a-day webcomic as I do on Hatefarm. Nobody cares! Unless you're doing it for yourself, then prepare to have no readers. Only then you can join our awesome pity party.

Wow! Thanks for that, Rob and Eric. But can you put your clothes on now please? Just so our dear readers will feel comfortable enough to click on www.hatefarm.com, and do the tweet-tweet / face-face thing too. Bless you.