Don't you just love dabbling about in the garden? No? Well I do. I find this holistic space a great way of expressing yourself through creation, whilst taking the piss out of God know what at the same time. Honest. I saw my made Eddie do just that in 2011, in this 90 minute stand-up show in a garden located somewhere in New York City. Bless him.
Eddie Izzard: Live At Madison Square Garden
- Tonight I will talk to you about everything that has ever happened -- with some gaps.
- 'Mein Kampf' is German for 'I'm going to kill everybody'
- God must have had more than one son. There was A-sus. B-sus. C-sus. D-sus. E-sus. G-sus. Excreta. Excreta. Excreta.
- Why the long pause? Said the barman to the bear.
- Dinosaurs were crap. All they ever did was get up in the morning and go 'ARRR'. And that's about it.
the pilgrim's came to
Americathey said "F*ck Zee. We're going to call it Zed from now on".
- The Stone Age began on Tuesday, around about three-thirty in the evening.
- 5 minutes until downloading is complete. 3 minutes until downloading is complete. 2 minutes until downloading is complete. 8 minutes until downloading is complete. 9 hours until downloading is complete. 6 days until downloading is complete. Oh f*ck it! I've signed too many agreements with iTunes already.
- The good news is that it works. The bad news is that it's not a gun. It's a vacuum cleaner.
- Farming isn't sexy.
- Spartan men -- RRrrrr. Spartan women -- Grrah. Spartan children -- Grr. Spartan dogs -- Woof. Spartan cats -- Meow. Spartan badgers -- Eeeek. Spartan sheep -- Bahh.
- Romans had viaducts and aqueducts amongst others. Heck, they had all the ducks imaginable. But their language was still silly.
- Charles Darwin and Charles Dickens lived a few vowels away from each other.
- It's not my joke. It's God joke. Blame him.
- Throwing up is like an opera. No one knows what's going on and it lasts too long.
- Honestly, would you listen to a burning hedge?
- Thy shall not covert thy neighbors ox? What? But he's not my neighbors! He lives opposite me in number 34.