THEOUTHOUSERS - FRANK NO SAY 'HHNRRR'

Now during my time working on this website, I've interviewed writers, artists, movie-makers, producers, businessmen, podcasters, actors, and fellow bloggers and blogsites alike. But for the life of me, this is the first time I've ever interviewed a 18th century fictional character. Yeah. No word of a lie. His name is Frank. And I spoke to him only the other night whilst catching lightning in a teacup. Shazam!





1) What are your own origins, Frank? Plus how did you find yourself working for ‘TheOuthousers’?   Frank built by Doctor Frank as described by Mary Shelly. Frank no have name at first, but after Frank kill Doctor Frank, Frank figured that it no matter if he also take name.

Frank no good at school though. Frank no doctor. After that, Frank have to sit back and watch 100s of movies and shows and plays and books and comics get made using Frank’s story and Frank no get paid. Sad state of world, but even now, Frank no have same rights as human even though Frank is made up of number of different humans. It no fair! 

Then, DC Comics tell Frank that they need Frank to star in new book, and they pay Frank in fresh new body parts -- some even super-powered! This good deal. Frank friend, Jeff Lemire, write good scripts for Frank that make Frank appear smart and Frank get to smash lots of things! Good times! But then stupid humans no read book, and Frank’s book get canceled and Frank fired! Darth Didio bad!

Frank at very low point in unlife at this point. Frank bounce off large bearded man while wondering around San Francisco who recognize Frank and become Frank’s best friend. Only friend. Bearded man is Jude Terror, and he webmaster of comic book website, and he offer Frank chance to write and tweet for site so that Frank could take his revenge on Darth Didio!

Pay not as good. Frank have to keep writing for website in meantime. Frank mostly write weekly advice column, FRANK HELP!!, but also do some reviews with MoJo JoJo and report on real news like Munsters no getting made.

2) In your own words how would you describe this website? And how did it come to be?   Outhouse is comic book website for free thinking adults -- known as Outhousers. Frank no mean that it porn site -- that other 98% of World Wide Web -- Frank saying that Outhouse place for adults to go and be honest about how they feel about comics. If want cuss them out, it OK, Outhousers no have advertising contract with any publisher, so Outhousers reviews are honest and independent. Frank and other writers no afraid to say 'Age of Ultron' suck (it does) because Outhousers no have huge Marvel backdrop as wallpaper and Outhousers no have conflicting interests!

Frank want tell you that what Outhousers want to be 'Onion' of comic book sites. We no there yet (mainly because GHERU no funny!) but we try. Site run legit news, but try and make fun of it because, c’mon, it comic books! Why so serious all time?

3) Who are other people that work with you on this site, and what are their roles within scheme of things?   Frank could list members one at time. Frank could say what members do too. But Frank won't. Frank says 'click here' and read for yourself. Also, Outhouse import members’ blogs for bigger audience and also have many other writers who provide content off and on. Really, Outhousers no have standards, if you want write something contact BlueMole through facebook page. 

4) If you could get a celebrity – either living or dead – to promote your wares, what person would you get, and why would you want to choose this particular person?   Frank ask Bride of Frank what she think and she say “Samuel L Jackson because he could deliver Frank's diatribes with proper tone and inflection”. Frank like this suggestion, and think Sam and Frank be good friends. But if Frank could have anyone, Frank chose Kate Upton. If you no know why then you no attracted to female humans.

5) Were there any unforeseen obstacles you or your college's had to contend with?   At moment Frank and Outhouse major challenge is too much success. Place where server located no like us because we are “too big” so if anyone want donate dedicated server (Frank no know what that mean, but Jude tell Frank to say it) Frank be grateful! Maybe not destroy village even if villagers chase Frank with fire. FIRE BAD!

6) If ‘TheOuthousers’ was a song, what song would it be and why?   'Living Next Door To Alice' by 'New World', because next to Alice’s house was rabbit hole to absurdity, and that what Outhouse is. Also, Frank no ever figure out who f*ck Alice is anyways.

7) What is most popular section of your site, and why do you think this is case?   News section, followed closely by 'Xaraan’s Journey Through Skyrim'. Frank think News section popular because people sick of Marvel and DC’s publishing firms (Newsarama and CBR) doing everything they can to maintain positive relationship with companies instead of holding them accountable for their crap. And even though Outhousers no big site, readers who have found us tend to (not always, trust Frank, not always) like what we do and how we do it. 

8) If a movie was ever made about the people involved with ‘The OutHousers’, what celebrity would play who?  Frank be Brad Pitt or Ryan Gosling, others will be...

• Robert Morris (Lord Simian) – King Kong (he real monster, Frank know him from meetings)
• Christian Hoffer – Matthew Perry (West Wing/Mr. Sunshine Matthew Perry, not Friends Matthew Perry)
• Jude Terror – Zach Galifianakis
• nietoperz - Vincent Price
• Xaraan – Michael Rosenbaum
• ThanosCopter – Johnny 5
• Royal Nonesuch – John Larroquette
• Zechs – Chris Burke
• GHERU – Seth Green
• J.M Hunter – Mel Gibson (no, really, Hunter crazy!)
• GLX – Denis Leary
• Dr. Improbable – Lena Dunham
• SuperginraiX – John Fogerty
• Keb – Common
• Niam Suggitt - Michael Cera
• El Presidente – Al Pachino
• Eric Ratcliffe - Ethan EmbryIvCNuB4 - Bullwinkle J. Moose 

9) If ‘TheOutHousers’ had a motto, what would it be?   In disclaimer it says: 'The Outhouse is not responsible for any butthurt incurred by reading our articles, especially if you fail to get joke. If it sounds too ridiculous to be true, it probably isn't. But not always, because sometimes, the comics industry and geek culture in general really are that ridiculous. Please direct all complaints to ComicsAreSeriousBusiness [at] Gmail [dot] com”. 

That was fun, Frank want go again!

Yeah. That was fun for me too, Frank. Now can you please let go of my throat so I can tell my dear readers that they should follow you on twitter, before informing them that they should also check out TheOutHousers and your facebook page! 

THUNK!

Thanks. May God have mercy on my soul. Coff-Coff!