21 May 2013

JUSTICE LEAGUE DARK #19

By David Lee Andrews   Posted at  07:00   JUSTICE DARK

[ THAT SALE IS MAGIC
Has anybody seen my old abode? I placed it somewhere near my old road. Frankenstein hasn't got a clue. Johnny-boy keeps on talking blue. And Xanadu has suddenly changed her zip code. Yeah. She currently lives quite close to the super-dark creative team, comprising of Jeff Lemire, Ray Fawkes, Mikel Janin, plus the Publisher: DC Comics, in March, 2013.

Using GENERAL terms, answer the following 4 questions about this FIRST PART of 'Horror City'.
  • WHAT'S THE MAIN THRUST OF THIS TALE: After a pointless conversation he has with Steve Trevor, John Constantine quickly discovers that his old foes, 'The Cult of the Cold Flame', have swiped his elusive House of Mystery, thus prompting him to recruit Deadman, Frank, Xanadu, and the special guest-star -- Swamp Thing -- to help him retrieve his missing chunk of prime real estate. 
  • ARE THE MAIN OBJECTIVES ACHIEVED: No. Not really. The entire issue is a big setup for the future. Furthermore, the time is ticking on Constantine’s connection with his house, everyone is stuck in a nightmare, and Swamp Thing is tied down and controlled by... ahem... Skeletor? 
  • ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN: Yeah.Three things as a matter of fact. The Flash decides to show up because... well... why not? Xanadu appears a lot younger than she used to, just to encourage younger readers to be less ashamed of their tightening pants. And Steve is trying to set up Deadman as a spy, because how else is he supposed to remain relevant in this series? 
  • HOW DOES THIS STORY END: With Swampy coming face to face with his Destiny. Ha!

All in all, what is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?
After 'The Cold Flame' plays its trump card and takes over Swampy, Xanadu exclaims “Do you understand?! The Nightmares have taken over!”.

Now to me, personally, this is my idea of a great tagline, because everything is setup so that the next issue is nothing but a disgusting and creepy nightmare-fest I can really dig.

What are the BEST bits about this issue?
(+) Sniff-Sniff! Doesn't the smell of Swamp Thing in the morning just make everything seem a lot better? Nuff said.
(+) Nightmare imminent issue's are fantastic. I can feel my pants tightening already. 
(+) Well, if I can’t have Honest Constantine, Scared Constantine is a nice consolation. 

What are the WORST bits about this issue? 
(-) Is it just me, or does 'The Cult of the Cold Flame' sound about as intimidating as a 'Hot Topic-clad' boy-band? 
(-) Young Xanadu… err... why exactly? Does making her younger and prettier directly make this book more scary to its female audience? Or more horney to the male ones? 
(-) In my opinion, Steve’s appearance in this adventure seems very out of place, especially with the plot going in the direction it currently is.


Choose TWO CHARACTERS out of this comic book, and then compare them to two REAL LIFE PEOPLE
ROB SCHNEIDER AS STEVE TREVOR: I can see why many people might find Rob and Steve somewhat useful, yet they're both geniuses in the art of 'overstaying their welcome'. Hint-Hint!

KEANU REEVES AS MADAME XANADU: Wait a minute. Let me tell you what I mean by this match-up before you start f-ing and blinding, folks. Both of these characters are immortal, and are usually in the driest parts of any stories they appear in. Also, in addition to this, you might notice that you'll never see them in the same picture together.

What QUOTE would be appropriate to sum-up this story?
'Nightmares exist outside of logic, and there’s little fun to be had in explanations; they're antithetical to the poetry of fear' -- Stephen King

What SONG, THEME-TUNE, or MELODY, would complement this tale, as well as add and extra dimension to it by default?
'(NOT ADAM)' BY FOETUS: If JLD goes down this dark journey for a while, I'll be stuck recommending the demented tunes of Foetus. Not only are they wrong, nerve wracking geniuses, but their music is just perfect to listen to whilst you watch Constantine fight a blood clone of himself, and Frankenstein take on his own child.




ANYTHING Else? 
Overall, I would say that this issue of 'Justice League Dark', set out and achieved exactly what it tried to accomplish in the first place. Tell a story, and set up a premise. 

However, whilst saying that, as much as I liked the idea behind Boston spying on the group on Steve's behalf, in the same breath, it did seem a bit wedged in at the end of this issue. Also, I suppose I could say exactly the same thing about the Flash's inclusions too. It was a nice surprise, but... errr... why huh?

On the reverse side of my negativity though, Doctor Destiny... well... what do you people think about his bold declaration at the end of this yarn? Could he be right? And this New52 is an alternate reality warped to his own liking! Or could he be speaking out of his boney ass? And this is nothing more than DC pissing in the wind.

Say no more.

GIVE IT, IT'S DUES: If This Comic Book Was A Cocktail, It Would Be A Flavoursome One, Dosed With Hope, Fortune, And A Heavy Slash Of Zeal.

*** This post was written by the one and only Freakin' Animal Man.

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