Get ready for a very slow tale. It's slower than a limp wristed Christian Bale. First goes his top. Quickly followed by the chop. Resulting in a swoon by a comely female. Oh! And if not a woman, then maybe the very placid creative team of Writer: Tony Bedard; Artist: Andres Guinaldo; plus Publisher: DC Comics, in May, 2013.

Using GENERAL terms, answer the following 4 questions about this STORY entitled ''Reunion”.
      WHAT'S THE MAIN THRUST OF THIS TALE: Raynor does a victory lap after the end of the Volthoom saga, where he and Walker do a superhero version of “Where Are They Now?”. It’s like something out of an old 80’s series finale, accompanied by feelings and stuff.
      ARE THE MAIN OBJECTIVES ACHIEVED: Yeah. But that doesn't lead to much. Some lanterns get special attention while others are merely blurbs in a cel or two. And again, Arkillo, one of the most entertaining lanterns, gets the cold shoulder.
      ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN: Rayner’s hair is black now, instead of gray. So stay tuned and it may be a light magenta by the end of the year.
      HOW DOES THIS STORY END: With Kyle hanging with his pappy.

All in all, what is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?
Boy, that Saint Walker, he really knows how to drive the guilt dagger in deep, doesn't he? Especially when he said to Kyle... 

“You could not save the one Guardian who was like a father to you. I cannot help but wonder what will become of you now?”

Well, I found it amusing that amongst all of the little blue dead-midgets, Kyle never bothered to check to see if Ganthet was amongst them. Plus it really seems unfortunate that the structure to this issue was so weak that Walker had to explain it's underlying message in one single page.

What are the BEST bits about this issue?
(+) Kyle saving the day 'Green Lantern style' for an oil rig was just amazing. It’s a small little note. I know. But I miss the days where Hal and company did more than make green missiles and nonsense, whilst occasionally being creative to solve problems rather than vanquishing foes.
(+) Walker is not the worst buddy to have around. The guy boosts you up, isn't (usually) on a downer, and his whole purpose is to be your wingman.
(+) I didn't mind following Andre's art throughout this issue. It was kind of bubbly in execution. 

What are the WORST bits about this issue?
(-) White Lantern Kyle is boring. Straight up. The entire adventure was him patrolling and bringing happiness, joy, and no worries, without anything going wrong. It’s hard to make a series exciting when your main protagonist is emotionally stable and practically perfect. Maybe that’s why the opposite -- the incredibly imperfect yellow rings -- are the best written. Speaking of which....
(-) WHERE THE HELL IS ARKILLO?! The guy stole a badass weapon forger who made him a new yellow lantern and ring, and then runs off with the Sinestro Corps afterwards. He’s still probably suffering from Sinestro projections as well, and really has so much going for him. But what do we get? “Uhhh. I dunno He ran away”. Groan!!!!!
(-) For such an interesting cast of characters, to have them all written off so quickly just so we can focus on Kyles 'daddy dilemma' wasn't such a great payoff. I was rolling my eyes when he went through his whole forgiveness spiel, when I’d rather be watching Larfleeze scream and shout, or see the Red Lanterns do something interesting. The only good part about this though, is that it has left me very interested to see where the next conflict will come from, since we couldn't be anymore complete here.

Choose TWO CHARACTERS out of this comic book, and then compare them to two MUSICIANS.
KENNY LOGGINS AS SAINT WALKER: Yeah. He may have the capability to do to the ‘Danger Zone’ thing, but you can never forget that he’s totally the guy that would sing ‘Return to Pooh Corner’ at the drop of a hat.

JUSTIN BIEBER AS LARFLEEZE: The two of them just seem to pursue whatever makes them less likable, and they're very good at it too. If only Justin desired to hide where no one could find him, then they could be best friends forever.

What QUOTE would be appropriate to sum-up this story?
“Your attitude is like a box of crayons that color your world. Constantly color your picture gray, and your picture will always be bleak. Try adding some bright colors to the picture by including humor, and your picture begins to lighten up” -- Allen Klein -- Proof that I'm not the only person who finds White and Gray so boring.

What SONG, THEME-TUNE, or MELODY, would complement this tale, as well as add and extra dimension to it by default?
RAINBOW CONNECTION BY THE MUPPETS: Because after toil and agony, we come out unscathed, and we need to celebrate with sunshine and happy rainbows. So gather round, hold hands, and surely our savior Kyle Rayner will bless us with colors and good feelings!

Welp, it sounds like we're all wrapped up here! Cue the sitcom finale music! I think it’s time to recast the crew. Lets put..

  • David Bowie on white ring -- because Bowie can do anything. Fact.
  • Jamie Kennedy on orange -- no one is a bigger turd than that guy.
  • Brian May on blue -- no one backs you up better like the guitarist from Queen
  • Let’s give Alex Jones an Indigo Ring -- he could really use it.
  • Lady Gaga needs to be a Star Sapphire -- who else these days would wear those outfits on purpose?
  • George R.R. Martin gets the Yellow Ring -- he keeps scaring me that he'll kill off my favorite characters in 'Game of Thrones'. 
  • Oh! And if you need a Red Lantern, we'll throw in Gordon Ramsey for good measure.

Now there’s a set of New Guardians I’d read.

GIVE IT, IT'S DUES: If This Comic Book Was Bread, It Would Be White Bread. Like a Jimmy Johns Sandwich Minus The Meat, Tomatoes, Lettuce, and Peppers. 

*** This post was written by the one and only Freakin' Animal Man.