Now can you guess what comedian hate's lateness, had a very happy childhood, and was once in a musical group called 'Seona Dancing'. No! It wasn't Kate Bush. Her childhood was cr*p. Of course I'm referring to the pug-nosed frog-like comedian, Ricky Gervais. As seen in this 75 minute stand-up show produced by HBO in 2010.
Ricky Gervais: Out of England 2
Irelandif like Britain's Cuba.
- If a volcano goes off, does God say to himself "Oh f*ck! Did I leave the oven on?"
- You can have too much of a good thing. Like heroin.
- I was so fat once, a waiter came over to me and said "F*ck off! You're not eating that!". No one gets fat behind their own back.
- I don't want fat people to be uncomfortable at one of my gigs. Next time they should buy two seats.
Hello? Who's that?
Africa. What do you want? We're starving. Well you should have thought about that when you wanted your independence.
- Is there a lonely old lady living near you this Christmas? Yes. And I f*cking hate her.
- I raped a granny once. Don't worry. She had Alzheimer's. She didn't remember a thing.
- God is not gay. Read the bible. He hates them.
I marry a man? No. Can I f*ck
him up the ass? Yeah. Please do. Make up your minds
- Why did the little girl fall off of her swing? Because she had no arms.