OK, so if Hal Jordan was based on Paul Newman, and Larfleeze was based on George Bush, who in hell was that other guy based on? You know. That ugly looking critter seen in this intergalactic adventure created by Robert Venditti, and Billy Tan; Published by DC Comics, in June, 2013. David Blaine perhaps?

Using GENERAL terms, answer the following 4 questions about this STORY entitled 'Green Lanterns'.
  • WHAT'S THE MAIN THRUST OF THIS TALE: Hal Jordan, a hand full of new recruits, Saint Walker, plus a couple of other aliens I can't be bothered to mention, all have to stop Larfleeze and his minions from taking over the planet Oa.
  • ARE THE MAIN OBJECTIVES ACHIEVED: Draw your curtains. Open your window. And look up at the sky and see, you lazy git! Ha!
  • ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN: Yes. Christopher Nolan.... errr... I mean Nol-an J, escapes from her confinement, thanks to a deceased Star Sapphires ring.
  • HOW DOES THIS STORY END: With a promise of bigger and better things to come.  

All in all, what is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?
It did make me laugh when one of the new recruits accidentally thumped Hal on his head with a green-fisted projectile, only for him to then say in turn...

'See. That wasn't so hard. Now use your imagination [he points towards Larfleeze in the distance] in that direction'.

Ha! Pure, Abbott and Costello. What's not to like?

What are the BEST bits about this issue?
(+) The one thing that stood out for me in this issue was Billy Tan's artwork. Honestly. It was so well-polished and so well-paced, that it didn't bother me when it was occasionally overpowered by the colours green or orange. Well done, Bill. Keep up the good work, mate.
(+) Although you could tell Robert Venditti's version of Hal Jordan isn't fully formed yet, in the same breath, I did find his attempt very refreshing in execution, making him into some sort of reluctant wise-ass leader.
(+) Having Larfleeze be the main villain in this adventure does cause a number of positive reproductions by default. Firstly, he's a good character, and people seem to like him for what he is. Secondly, he looks funny, which is always a bonus. And thirdly, he does inject some much needed personality into this 'all action' premise.  

What are the WORST bits about this issue?
(-) That whole sequence with Nol-an J, Cossite, and the Star Sapphire ring, didn't really work for me at all. I mean, it was too coincidental, wasn't it? As if one chance encounter led to another chance encounter by whim of fate. Nah. What a cr*p 'play it by numbers' scenario that was. Tut-Tut-Tut. I was hoping for something better than this from a new creative team.
(+) Oh, dear. I feel like I'm playing the same old record again and again and again this month, folks. I'm not a big fan of 'all action' issues you see. Yadda-yadda-yadda. What you gain in action you lose in plot. Yadda-yadda-yadda. Please try something new DC. Yadda-yadda-yadda. Go on. It'll be good for you.

Choose TWO CHARACTERS out of this comic book, and then compare them to SOMETHING YOU CAN BUY ON EBAY .
AN INSTRUCTION MANUAL AS HAL JORDAN: No. Wait a minute. I haven't gone mad yet. If you think about it for a moment, all Hal did in this adventure was bark out instructions to his new recruits. See. I do make sense if I want to.

A BATTERY RECHARGER AS SAINT WALKER: Well, that's what Walker does! Right? Recharges people!

What QUOTE would be appropriate to sum-up this story?
'War does not determine who is right. Only who is left' -- Bertrand Russell

What SONG, THEME-TUNE, or MELODY, would complement this tale, as well as add and extra dimension to it by default?
THE NIGHT THEY DROVE OLD DIXIE TO TOWN BY THE BAND: Now when I came up with the aforementioned story comparison, I thought to myself 'What song is sad, happy, bubbly, and insinuates a battle for a couple of reluctant warriors?' Click on the video, and then see what I mean by this.

Hello. My name is Shytphaice from the planet Pants, and I've just been recruited into the brand spanking new 'Green Lantern Corps'. OK. So when I say 'recruited', what I actually mean to say is shafted with a couple of other ugly looking aliens who haven't got a clue what to do with their Flagwars. For instance, there is...

  • Jack Koff -- The nine fingered fish from the planet 'vank'.
  • Sherri Cola -- The bubbly girl with a bitter aftertaste.
  • Luna Tick -- I'm not quite sure what he is. He just keeps on asking for his medication all the time.
  • Paige Turner -- Nice girl. Loves to read.
  • Mike Hunt -- Boy! That critter sure is rude!
  • Nadia Seymour -- If I'm right, I think she has a problem with her vision.
  • Phil McCracken -- No. I won't go there. This three legged albino twonk is very... errr... grabby.   

Anyway, with that out of my system, all I have left to say is that this issue of 'Green Lantern' was a fairly yo-yo affair. On the plus side it told a story and the art was amazing. But on the down side the story was too simple, and certain plot threads didn't seem to work in execution.

Still. Better luck next month, chaps. Fingers crossed.

NO! Not you 'Jack'! THWAK!