JUSTICE LEAGUE #23

[ OPEN THE BOX. TAKE THE CASH ] 

Have you ever wondered what life would have been like if Hitler won World War 2? Would it have been like the television series 'Lost' in drag? Would it have been like an episode of 'Friends' with the monkey in it? Or would it have been like this great tale created by Geoff Johns, Ivan Reis, and Doug Mahnke; Published by: DC Comics, in July, 2013.

Using GENERAL terms, answer the following 4 questions about this FINAL PART of 'Trinity War'.

• WHAT'S THE MAIN THRUST OF THIS TALE: This is it, folks. This is the adventure where some heroes get possessed, other heroes fight, a savior tries to save the day, yet ultimately, Pandora's Box is finally unleashed into the world. 
• ARE THE MAIN OBJECTIVES ACHIEVED: No. Not where the heroes are concerned anyway.
• ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN: Yes. Quite a few things actually. Through the course of this tale, we discover that it was only one solitary hero who aided The Outsider in his master plan, a hero that caused Superman to turn ill and Cyborg to go... KA-PLUNK!
• HOW DOES THIS STORY END: With a Syndicate ready for a crime spree.

All in all, what is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?

I know that the following piece of dialogue wasn't meant to be funny, yet I couldn't help but gag when Steve Trevor said to John Constantine...

'I hope Superman dies!'

Well, it was so random and out of the blue, half of me then expected him to try to sell Johnny boy a packet of cigarettes or something! Ha!

What are the BEST bits about this issue?

(+) 'But that's f*cking nuts?' I said to myself, as soon as a read the dramatic revelation revealed in this adventure. "How could this be possible?" I then continued, as I suddenly began to piece together all of the different aspects of this parable into one cohesive whole. Yet I couldn't you know. No. I couldn't. Even as I type this review I'm not one hundred percent sure if I liked it or not. I know that it made me feel something. So that's a positive point I suppose. However... errr... how can I put it?  Oh! I know. Maybe it was a bit too dramatic a reveal for its own good.
(+) It was a joke, folks. Honestly it was a joke. I didn't know that I inadvertently stumbled upon the Outsiders true identity a review or so ago. I mean, how could I have possibly known that ****** was the Outsider, huh? Or that he came from *****-*? There where no clues alluding to these facts. Yet, whilst saying that, it was a nice surprise to find out that my gaff was right on the money! And nice is a good thing, isn't it?

(+) Now I know that this may sound silly, but I did like those scenes where Batman had the box in his hands and was jumping about all over the place like a man possessed. In a strange way these segments reminded me of a football / rugby match of sorts. Where the star-player would do his damnedest to win the game for his team.

(+) Something else I also enjoyed about this issue were those 'plot recap' excerpt's at the beginning of it. To me, they illustrated the Justice League in their original way, without messing about with petty details or continuity. 

(+) If truth be told I'm not entirely sure about the Atom and the Grid revelations seen in this yarn. I'm not saying that I like them. I'm not saying that I don't like them either. What I'm saying is that I'm willing to see how these two characters play out in future... that's all.

What are the WORST bits about this issue?

(-) Now if you've taken note of some of the points I've raised in the previous section, then I'm sure you'd have a pretty good idea what I thought was bad about this issue. The shocks were too shocking. The through-line was mumbled at best. And the overall package was a bit topsy-turvy to say the least.

(-) Alright. So you're allies dying at your feet. You've just seen who the bad guys really are. And simply put, everything around you is going to hell in a hand basket.  So what do you do about it, huh? Stand around and yelp like the heroes did this issue? Nah! Not bloody likely. Tut-Tut-Tut.

Choose TWO CHARACTERS out of this comic book, and then compare them to A REAL-LIFE HISTORICAL FIGURE.

GUY FAWKES AS BATMAN: Believe it or not, I came up with this crazy comparison by asking myself one simple question: 'Which darkly dressed historical figure was fairly good at running with something in his hands, but ultimately tripped up?'. See?

JUDAS ISCARIOT AS THE ATOM: Huh? Is this match-up too biblical of you? What's that you say? Yes? Yes it is? Tough sh*t! Suck it and weep buddy. Superman did. 

What QUOTE would be appropriate to sum-up this story?

'Let your soul stand cool and composed before a million universes' -- Walt Whitman

What SONG, THEME-TUNE, or MELODY, would complement this tale, as well as add and extra dimension to it by default?

THE 'GALAXY SONG' BY MONTY PYTHONS FLYING CIRCUS: Yep. That's correct. I'm going sardonic with this comparison, folks. A comparison where I can compare this tune to this tale because they're both about universes, galaxies, and one person telling another person what its all about, whilst they idly stand by.

ANYTHING Else?

Picture the scene. Many years from now a Grandfather and his Grandson are huddled around a simulated fireplace, talking about stuff and nonsense as per usual. When suddenly...

GRANDSON: Grandpapa?

GRANDFATHER: Yes, boy.

GRANDSON: What was the 'Trinity War' all about?

GRANDFATHER: Oh! The 'Trinity War'. That was a classic piece of storytelling bar none. Not like all of that cr*p they do nowadays. Damn president Didio!!!

GRANDSON:  But you keep on telling me the same old thing, Grandpapa. It's classic. Yet you never give me any of the details.

GRANDFATHER: What? Don't they teach you kids anything at school? What a curse to society mankind has truly become!

GRANDSON: Come on! Spill the beans, you old grump! You won't let me read your copy of 'Trinity War'. I can't inject it into my eyeball like the rest of the kids in my class. So how in hell am I going to...

GRANDFATHER: Now you hold it right there, young man. Let me tell you something. I won't give anyone in my family permission to be injected into the eye with that new liquid-comic. You understand me?  Nobody. And secondly...

GRANDSON: Secondly?

GRANDFATHER: Yes... secondly... the 'Trinity War' is a classic tale about...

[ For about two to three minutes the Old f*cker freezes on the spot. Motionless. As if he's waiting for the heavens to take him upwards ]

GRANDSON: Oi! Wake up! You were saying that the 'Trinity War' was a classic tale about...

GRANDFATHER:... about?

GRANDSON: Yes! About!

GRANDFATHER: Oh, yes. It's about a box. Plus some heroes fighting and some villains winning.

GRANDSON: That's it?

GRANDFATHER: Yeah. Pretty much.

GRANDSON: So what's so 'classic' about it then?

GRANDFATHER: It was the last story Geoff Johns wrote before he became a transvestite.

Anyway. That's enough of my yadda-yadda for this month, folks. All I have left to say is that this final part of 'Trinity War' reminded me of taking a shower next to an exposed electrical unit. It can be shocking. It can be exciting. But at the end of the day it can also be dangerous for your health.

Nuff said.