OH NO! Tell me it's NOT true. Tell me that this ADVENTURE created by SCOTT Lobdell, ART Thibert, SCOTT McDaniel, and TYLER Kirkahm, wasn't Published by DC Comics in NOVEMBER, 2013. Huh? What's that? It was? It was created and published by this said-same CREATIVE TEAM? Fair enough. Can I have some ice cream now please? My throat hurts with all of this yelling.

Using GENERAL terms, answer the following 4 questions about this STORY entitled 'A Good Defence'.
  • WHAT'S THE MAIN THRUST OF THIS TALE: 'Leave my boyfriend Bart alone you horrible brutes', says Solstice to the 30th century army who are beating him up. 'You just wait until the rest of the Teen Titans get here' she continues, 'Cause I'm sure they'll give you a bloody good pasting'. 
  • ARE THE MAIN OBJECTIVES ACHIEVED: No. Not really. Despite Red Robins, Wonder Girls, Ravens, and Superboys, sudden arrival, when push comes to shove, at the end of the day Bart's up sh*t creek without a paddle.
  • ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN: We get a quick glimpse of what Bart was like before he traveled back in time. Trust me. It isn't a very pretty sight.
  • HOW DOES THIS STORY END: With a wonderfully super cross over event drifting off into the breeze.

All in all, what is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?
When he was doing battle with Rain and his savage army, Bart Allen said to him...

 'I can't believe I left you in charge when I was gone'.

But what in hell could he be referring to? Huh? Honestly. From my own perspective, this expression can be taken in a number of different ways. Oh! I know what I'll do. I'll try to tackle this sentence during my silly summation. Hoooo-boy!

What are the BEST bits about this issue?
(+) Hey! Can someone please explain to me who drew this f*cking book? I mean, for crying out loud, was it Scott, Art, or Tyler?  Not that there was anything wrong with this of course. Although some of the artwork was rather inconsistent in places, at the same time, I did enjoy its 'Image' style posturing an awful lot. That was very dynamic.
(+) What in God's name was Bart before we knew him, eh? From the look of it, he must have been somewhat like his old nemesis, Inertia, just with a bit more bulk and a lot more rage. Wow! Will wonders never cease!
(+) Just like the majority of the sub-plots presented in this tale, I did enjoy how each of them were able to convey a definite emotion or notion -- like Bart's dual nature for instance -- which I'm sure will be expanded upon at a later date.
(+) Please put up your hands up if you liked following Solstice's plot recap. Oh! That's many? I thought as much. You can all now go and have a double helping of ice cream with your cocaine. Bless your cotton socks.
(-) Superboy. Superboy. Superboy. What on Earth can I say about our ever loving kid of steel? Well, a part of me was happy that he's graced the pages of this book since his... well... you know what. Whereas another part of me would have much rather preferred the... err... you know what. Nudge-Nudge. Wink-Wink. 

What are the WORST bits about this issue?
(-) My biggest problem with this tale is a how certain parts of it appeared to jolt from one plot-point to another, without any smooth transitions in between. Well, lets face it, how come Red Robin and the gang found Bart and Solstice without any explanation given? Also, how come our heroes all landed on the same planet during the same time period, yet were somehow divided into two separate teams?

Choose TWO CHARACTERS out of this comic book, and then compare them to FRUIT.
A BLACKCURRANT AS SOLSTICE: What? Is this comparison too obvious for you? Well, it could have been a lot worse I suppose. I could have compared Bart to a banana.

A BANANA AS KID FLASH: Hey! Don't groan. Cause did you know eating bananas can make you run real fast? Yeah. It's a proven fact. Plus our Bart did act a bit bananas' in this issue too.

What QUOTE would be appropriate to sum-up this story?
'The empires of the future are the empires of the mind' -- Winston Churchill

What SONG, THEME-TUNE, or MELODY, would complement this tale, as well as add and extra dimension to it by default?
THE THEME TUNE FROM THE TV SHOW 'AUTOMAN': Now to come up with this comparison I said to myself, 'What song would be able to match this future bent narrative for its cheesy yet stoic vibe?'. And though and behold....

Hey, folks. What do you think Bart left Rain in charge of when he was away? Huh? What's that you say? You think Bart left him his army of solders to look after? Nah! That'll be too predictable. I suspect that he left him something like...

  • A cuddly toy for him to squeeze at night.
  • His rare collection of Scandinavian porn so he can... errr... inspect them... uhh... at his leisure
  • A very high priced hair conditioner which he can use to wash his long wavy hair.
  • Nine chicken wings and a can of coke for him to eat and drink.
  • His best wishes for a happy new year.

Anyway. That's enough of my sh*t for this month, folks. All I have left to say is that this issue of 'Teen Titans' reminded me of a worm eating its own tail. Fun to look at. Strange to fathom. Plus on occasion doesn't seem to be going anywhere fast.  

Nuff said.