TERRORVISION

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Terrorvision Cover Whenever you turn on your television set, what do you normally watch? Do you gaze at some comedy? Do you gawp at some horror fest? Or do you sit back, relax, and check out this 83 minute movie made in 1986, Directed by Ted Nicolaou; and Starring: Chad Allen, Diane Franklin, Mary Woronov, with Gerrit Graham.


Terrorvision


THE STORY:
Out of the following three options, what do you think would shock Stanley & Raquel Putterman (Gerrit Graham & Mary Woronov) the most? Would it be...

  1. The sudden arrival of their daughter Suzy's (Diane Franklin) new boyfriend? O.D. (Jon Gries). Who's into heavy metal.
  2. When Stanley inadvertently warps a monster from outer space into his TV via his new satellite dish? Who eats Grampa (Bert Remsen). Or...
  3. By discovering that one of the swingers they've brought home is too Greek for their own liking? Spiro (Alejandro Rey). Not Cherry (Randi Brooks).

Yep. That is correct, folks. The answer is 'B'. The monster from outer space, who sneakily sneaks his way into the Putterman family homestead, and chomps, digests, and does a number of other unquestionable things to this not so suburban household, despite their son, Sherman (Chad Allen), warning them about this bodacious danger.

But don't you fret though! Through shear guile and determination, Sherman does manage to keep his head squarely upon his own shoulders throughout this ordeal. Going so far as to call the television pundit, Medusa (Jennifer Richards), about these strange comings and goings.

Then again, that's most probably why what next transpires all vomits a sick note when a Monster turns into a pet. As a distress signal is ignored - this was the part I started getting board - a turn up for the books was not so great - and at the end of the day a savior appears a mite too late.  

BURP!




THE REVIEW:
Now after some careful deliberation, folks, the only way I can sum up 'Terrorvision', is by saying that it reminds me of a strange mixture of 'Happy Days' and a bad 50's b-movie, squashed together, with a tinge of sexually charged cheesiness thrown in for good measure.

Terrorvision starring Jennifer Richards
Yeah. I'm not kidding. This is one of those movies' which is very broad and kooky in both style and taste. Cosmetically it looks like a TV movie -- mainly because it seems obvious that most of this production was shot within a television studio. Whilst on a narrative level it's all over the place structurally -- with a large part of its pretext relying heavily on its jovial style to override any form of common sense.

Admittedly. I understand that this is supposed to be horror comedy. Yet, if I'm going to be Frank about it, this isn't a very good definition for this particular film. It's wasn't funny, it was cheesy. And it wasn't horrifying, it was gruesome. Indirectly making the overall production a bit too 'out there' for my own liking. Basically, it's a 'cheesy-gruesome'. For use of a better phrase.


The Cast Of Terrorvision, including Chad Allen, Diane Franklin, Mary Woronov, with Gerrit Graham.


Terrorvision Film Poster
But wait up. Before I get too overcritical about 'Terrorvision'. Here. Let me break up my momentum by presenting these filmic-facts. (1) 'Empire Pictures' first released this production in America on the 14th of February, 1986, and clawed back $320 thousand dollars at the box office. (2) Loosely translated, this project was entitled 'Vision of Terror' in Brazil; and 'Monster from Outer Space' in Poland. (3) Most of this movie was shot within a studio situated somewhere in the Mediterranean country of Italy. (4) Ted Nicolaou, who directed and co-wrote this film, was the 'sound recordist' on the 1974 classic, 'The Texas Chainsaw Massacre'. (5) If you look very closely at the prologue, you'll notice an upside down model off the U.S.S. Enterprise, missing its engines, and colored to look like a building on the planet Pluto. (6) The nice chap who provided the monstrous voice for this horror-comedy, Frank Welker, did the voice for Azrael in 'The Smurfs'; Megatron in 'Robot Chicken'; Garfield for 'The Garfield Show'; Scooby-Doo and Freddy Jones in 'Scooby Doo'; plus many-many more. (7) This film inspired the British rock band, 'Terrorvision', to swipe its title for themselves. (8) After this film shot its load, Diane Franklin starred in 'Dallas: The Early Years'; Gerrit Graham and Mary Woronov starred in 'Chopping Mall'; and Chad Allen starred in 'Pound Puppies'.


The Monster From Terrorvision


Now before I warp off into outer space, dear reader, I would just like to mention that there were some parts of 'Terrorvision' I kind of liked. For instance, I did enjoy how Chad Allen's character was more level headed than the rest of the cast. As he had that charm about him that made you care for him, here and there. Also, I did get a kick out of some of the nth rate special effects utilized, although they did appear very naff in execution. Furthermore, I did find the 'swingers scene' funnier and more titivating than some of the other parts of this project too.

The Kids Of Terrorvision
Apart from that though -- nah -- all in all this film was a bit of a dud for yours truly. The story was a mumbled one. The style was too overt. The comedy was a rather hit and miss affair. Plus the horror was more splatter than suspenseful.

Sorry about that 'Terrorvision' fans. But I've got to be honest, don't I? And to be honest with you, this film just wasn't my particular cup of tea. If anything, it reminds me of a stubborn man on life support. Single minded. Inert. And in dire need of some tender love and care.

Nuff said.

THE RATING: C