GREEN LANTERN #30

[ STOP SLAPPING MY STICK ] 

Can someone please explain to me how the Durlan's brush their teeth? Robert Venditti hasn't got a clue. Martin Coccollo couldn't give a toss. And as for those sods over at DC Comics, well, they're too busy selling toothpaste to toothless pensioners in May, 2014, to careless! The flipping skin flints!

To QUOTE the classic Peter Sellers film, Doctor Strangelove: 'Gentlemen! You can't fight here. This is the war room'.

THE STORY:

God damn it, Kilowog. Do I have to do this right here, right now?

I've had a f*cking emotional day of it today, already. What with preaching to the corps about Kyle's passing, as well as honoring our other fallen dead. And now you want me, you, Salaak, and two-six, to fly off to some neutral space-port called the 'Oasis Bay', to see if I'm able to make peace with the war-like Khund!

Sigh! Alright then. I'll do it for you, old pal. Heck, if were lucky enough, we might even get a drink or two out of this, without me having my bloody head kicked in! Ha!

THE GOOD:

A few moments before I picked and read this issue of 'Green Lantern', I started wondering if Robert Venditti was able to maintain his top-class story-line for another month. I know so far he seems to be doing a very good job on this book. Yet it only takes one single issue to turn a title from a hit to a plop.

But then again, I shouldn't have bothered worrying myself really. I shouldn't have bothered because this rip roaring adventure has got it all.

Yeah. I'm not kidding. You name it. It's got it. It's got some really nice and earthy artwork provided by Martin (please hire him DC) Coccollo. It's got a midget in it that's smaller than Yoda. It's got a funny bar room scene I thought was out of this blooming world. Plus it's got prayers, fighting, daring do, and an all of those science fiction type elements which is transforming this series into 'The Fifth Element meets Star Wars'.

Good on you, Mister Venditti. I do apologize for doubting your abilities.

THE BAD:

The only thing about this adventure I wasn't too keen on would be the rather obvious way it showed there's a Durlan spy amongst the corps. It was in that small little scene at the very end of this book, where that fishy lantern looked coyly off panel with a cheesy grimace on his face.

THE MUSIC:

Because of that great bar-room sequence between Hal and Captain Khu, I feel compelled to compare this story to the Clint Eastwood and Ray Charles classic, 'Beers to You'. Here. Check this out and you can hear what I mean...

THE COMPARISON:

Conceptually this adventure came across like a tale of two differentiating halves, even though symbolically the whole thing was about familial traditions plus honoring your dead. So that's what I'm going to compare it to, folks. A familial ceremony of sorts. A ceremony where people do whatever they feel they have to, and basically go through the stages of mourning.

THE CONCLUSION:

By now I'm sure you know what I felt about this issue of Green Lantern, entitled 'Death and Life'. It was an amazing issue, and I couldn't find fault with it in the art or the story-line departments.

So instead of me just wafting on about stuff I've talked about before, I thought it might be a good idea to suggest to Robert Venditti a couple of names for Green Lanterns. Well, he is a very nice chap, and willing to tweet my articles from time to time.

OK Robert! So this is for you, pal...

• Double-dutch -- A one armed Danish disco diva with a purple perm and a blue bum.
• The Black Dahlia -- Also known as Elizabeth Short to you movie buffs out there.
• Curtain stain -- A distant relation to Monica Lewinsky.
• Sedrftgyhuji -- This is what happens when I slap my hand down onto my keyboard.
• The Solicitor -- Because I hear they have a lot of wills. 
• Bruce Campbell -- Oh come on. Don't tell me you wouldn't want to see Bruce as a lantern!
• Will-I-Can't -- That is unless he can.
• Dolly Parton -- OK. I'm just being silly now.

Nuff said.