EARTH 2 #25

[ SUPER EARTH 2 SHATTERING SALE ] 

My momma always said, 'Life was like a box of chocolates. You never always gonna know what you get'. But then again, my momma never picked up the following comic book Created by Tom Taylor, Nicola Scott, and Published by: DC Comics, in August, 2014.

To QUOTE Mitch Hedberg: 'My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them'.

THE STORY:

Whenever you get the chance to check out part five of 'The Kryptonian', I bet my ass you'll agree with me when I say... (1) Aquawoman, Flash, and Hawkgirl, all make a big splash when a hoard of parademons and Skeletor attack them. Errr? I mean 'The Beguiler'. (2) Superman's impromptu luncheon with the Kent's and Red-Lois doesn't really go according to plan. And (3) The whole world as we know it will turn into cr*p care of Baron Bedlam and his two terrific aides.

Maybe.

THE GOOD:

OK. So some things are starting to take shape over on the pages of 'Earth 2'. The two Terrific's have built a machine for Darkseid to manipulate. Kevin's origins are more clearly defined, and he and Superman are in place to smash each others faces in. Plus Batman, Flash, Green Lantern, Hawkgirl, plus the rest of the World Army, are primed and ready for whatever else is coming up next.

Yet I suppose on the flip side of this equation, dear reader, is if I actually enjoyed reading this issue or not. Yeah. I suppose I did to a certain degree. As much as I wasn't completely blown over by the pointless deaths on show, in the same breath this series has one hell of a way of setting up suspenseful situations I can't wait to see more of in the future.

Well, let's face it! Who do you think will win out of Kevin and Superman? That's if it is Superman, of course. Plus what do you think will happen when Darkseid finally arrives?  And do you think Kevin saw this in Doctor Fate's helmet?

Hmmm?

THE BAD:

Essentially my only gripe with this comic book was that its' narrative structure felt slightly lop-sided in execution. The story began with a conversation between Kevin and Jimmy. It then continued with a battle situated somewhere else. After that there was a fairly suspenseful Superman interlude. And finally it ended on a cliff-hanger of world-shattering proportions.

Of course, I more than understand why this was the only real way to tell a tale such as this one. Yet I feel it would have been nicer if each of these scenes were unified in character, exposition, or better yet, intent.

THE MUSIC:

While I was reading that scene where Superman was sitting down to have dinner with the Kent's and Red-Lois, suddenly a song sprung to mind that really complemented this situation to a tea. The song in question is entitled... coff-coff-coff... and you'll hear it in the Sissy Spacek version of 'Carrie'.

THE COMPARISON:

A couple of door's away from where I live I have this neighbor who always seems to blurt out something 'alternate' whenever we meet on the street. Now instead of him greeting me conventionally by saying something like, 'Hello, How are you?' he'd rather say something like, 'I saw your brother down the shops the other day!' or 'The price of napkins are half price now'.

Anyway, what I'm trying to get at here, folks, is that this adventure reminds me of my neighbor. It's always a pleasure to hear whatever he has to say, even though sometimes it does sounds rather unorthodox on the ear.

THE CONCLUSION:

Picture the scene. You're sitting down to dinner with a deranged Superman and his kin, and you're trying your best to lubricate these proceedings by being your ever charming self. However, like the idiot you really are, you say something stupid as per usual. Something so stupid and so benign, you can't help but cough it out here for everyone to read...

1. So Superman, have you killed anyone famous recently?
2. Hey, Jonathan! You're still alive! I thought you died ages ago!
3. Can someone please pass me the kryptonite? Ha! I'm just kidding, Kal. Salt would suffice. 
4. What is it like having a power mad son brought back from the dead, Martha? Plus do you think you might need to compare notes with Batman?
5. If you don't mind me for asking, Lois, but where do you keep your lady bits?
6. Out of curiosity, Supes, do you wear contact lenses? Cause you sure have some mean-looking red-eye.
7. So let me get this straight, Lois. Basically you turned up naked at your in-laws. Tut-tut-tut!
8. Now don't get me wrong. I like Darkseid. I really do. But what has he ever done for us, eh? Apart from the irrigation, the sanitation, indoor plumbing, etc, etc, etc...

Nuff said.