EARTH 2 #28

[ BARGAIN HUNT ] 

In order for DC Comics to give their November themed 'Lego Month' some form of street cred, they decided to ask their creators to develop something urban and original. So that is why Tom Taylor, Andres Guinaldo, and Andy Smith bought a dollars worth of smack and made a spaceship out of it. Sniff-Sniff! Well, they wanted to get high!

To QUOTE William Congreve: 'Heaven has no rage like love to hatred turned, nor hell a fury like a woman scorned'.

THE STORY:

I've learnt the following four facts about the 'Female Furies' whilst reading this issue of 'Earth 2'. (1) Many years ago the 'fury' called Pestilence was a Czarnian flee bag who once shagged Lobo. (2) That big 'fury' named 'Famine' actually had the biggest tits on Warworld. (3) Another member of this group, aptly titled 'War', is a doe-eyed orphan from Tamaran who stops at nothing until she gets what she wants. And (4) Death is in fact Darkseid's green-skinned martian b*tch. Wink-wink!

THE GOOD:

Basically this month's instalment of 'Earth 2' is one big origin story that told the beginnings of four of the female furies. One of them was obviously a female version of Lobo. Another one was J'onn J'onzz's female counterpart. And the third member was Kori from the Outlaws. All of them -- in one way or another -- perverted in tone and stature, just to fit in line with this new 'Earth 2' take.

Now where the fourth fury was concerned -- the one named 'Famine' -- I'm not quite sure who she was meant to represent. And I suppose in some way this is a good thing too. Because she was the only one I actually liked, mainly because she wasn't playing a bastardised version of someone else.

Onto the art side of things, however, and the only thing I can say about it was that it was fairly good overall. Nothing too outstanding to make me stand up and take notice! And nothing too abysmal for me criticize either!  It was fairly pedestrian. Just like this issue's general narrative.

THE BAD:

Apart from not being a big fan of this adventures origin-like structure, something else I wasn't too keen on was the fact that these origins had no real reason to be told. I mean, let's face it. This series is coming to an end soon, anyway. Plus none of these characters have made an appearance beforehand either. So why bother now, eh? Or is this just some way of Tom and company 'filling space' to patch-up other things somewhere else?

Hint-hint!

THE MUSIC:

In essence this issue was all about 'girl power', right? So how can I not musically match it up with one of the all time classic 'girl power' ballads! So it's over to you, Eurythmics, with 'Sisters Are Doin' It for Themselves'.

Ha! Now eat that and weep 'Spice B*tches'!

THE COMPARISON:

Whose name springs to mind whenever you might think of a woman in power? Kim Kardashian, perhaps? No. Not her. Indira Gandhi? Hmm? Nice idea. Yet from my point of view whenever I think about a woman in power, only one name springs to mind.

Margaret Thatcher. Say no more.

THE CONCLUSION:

After reading this story I suddenly stumbled across a fairly good idea I'd like to share with you. Well, if Tom and the rest of guys at 'Earth 2' can choose four heroes to be the 'Female Furies', how come me or you can't do the very same thing?

So here, when you've got the time please check out my following selection and tell me what you think. Also, feel free to share your ideas in turn, OK?

• Joan Crawford -- Have you ever seen the way she weald's a metal coat hanger? It's lethal I tell you. Lethal!
• Meryl Streep -- Well, she is a very convincing actress?
• Queen Boadicea -- Also known as 'That Celtic b*tch who kicked Roman ass'.
• Angela Merkel -- According to Forbes magazine, she's the most powerful woman in the world.

Nuff said.