FLASH #35

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[ ITCHING FOR A BARGAIN
In the month of October, 2014, DC Comics will garnish their covers with a monstrous piece of artwork. Robert Venditti will pay homage to this event by singing the Tammy Wynette song, 'Stand By Your Man'. Where as Brett Booth will be accompanying him on the Banjo. You have been duly warned.

To QUOTE Someone Related To My Cat: 'A stitch in time saves nine'.

THE STORY:
So this is it, folks. This is the conclusion we've all been dying to see. A conclusion where we'll witness two Flashes kicking the living cr*p out of each other -- my money is on the 'future version' -- in order to restore the time stream and once again save mankind, blah-blah-blah.

But do they succeed? And if they do, how does the surprise appearance of... coff-coff-coff... splatter-splatter-choke... effect the eventual outcome? Not sure? Then you best pick up this issue! Or else you won't be able to gawp in awe at the sight of heroes fighting, heroes talking, heroes referencing other heroes, and... errr... you know, that sort of thing.

THE GOOD:
Even though I wasn't completely blown over by this installment of the Flash, that's not to say Brett Booth didn't provide us with some amazingly crisp pieces of artwork -- loved his 'kinetic flow of visuals' by the way, partially for a largely talking issue. Plus the story-line in itself was a fairly good attempt at finalizing one tale and starting another.

Well, without giving too much away -- fingers crossed -- I have to say this tale does throw up a number of questions considering it was meant to be a final chapter (I think it was, anyway). One part of me is wondering where Barry went off to at the end of it (Skartaris, perhaps?). Another part of me is wondering what the 'other chap' will be doing now that things are done and dusted (wink-wink!)? Plus another part of me kind of understands that this is not an end but a beginning of some sorts. A beginning which blatantly defined its own parameters in a nice and pithy manner yet left me feeling slightly confused and wanting more closure.

Know what I mean?

THE BAD:
The only slight gripe I had with this adventure -- and I do mean only slight gripe -- is the way in which it introduced a 'special guest-star' to rectify matters, only to then dispose of this person a couple of pages later. I mean, this segment -- although very pleasant to follow -- did feel a bit disposable and forced. As if it was a quick fix to a dilemma that needed a bit more work.

Of course I do mean this with all due respect. Yet I suppose I personally am not too fond of 'quick-fixes'. Especially when they come out of nowhere -- well, kind of -- and then go off to nowhere sometime thereafter.   

THE MUSIC:
Largely due to Barry's 'Back to the Future' reference, I feel slightly compelled to musically match up this comic book to its theme tune. Well, it was either that or the Cyndi Lauper pop ditty, 'Time After Time'.




THE COMPARISON:
Essentially this tale is about someone fixing something that should have been fixed a long time ago. So with that in mind, dear reader, how about comparing it to a plumber fixing a 'dodgy water-main'?

Hey! Let's face it. They're good at plugging in a whole, aren't they? Plus they always seem to leave a lot of mess behind afterwards. Tut-Tut-Tut!

THE CONCLUSION:
Now there was a section in this story where Future-Flash explained to Current-Flash how in the future -- well, his future anyway -- three people taught him how to fight properly. So just for fun, can you guess who these three people were / was / is out of the following eight options?

  1. Green Lantern. Green Arrow. Seth Green.
  2. Britney Spears. Cher. Madonna.
  3. Plastic Man. Elongated Man. Herman the German.
  4. Deathstroke. Lady Shiva. Batman.
  5. Dan Didio. Jim Lee. Elton John.
  6. Stephen Hawkins. RuPaul. That's one out of 'Destiny's Child' I can't remember the name of.
  7. Lady Gaga. Lindsay Lohan. J-Lo.
  8. Krypto. Craptoe. And Croptoe.
Nuff said.