EARTH 2 #29

Do you know what those crazy cats over at DC Comics decided to do when they heard the news Darwyn Cooke agreed to produce their cover art? Well, in December, 2014, Tom Taylor, Andy Smith, and Yildiray Cinar, commemorated this news by punching Simon Cowell in the face. Hey! One good deed always deserves another.

To QUOTE My Mother In Relation To Me Shacking Up With My Ex-Girlfriend: 'You Know What you're doing, don't you? You're Jumping From The Frying Pan Right Into The fire'.

You'd have guessed that Dick would be head over heals in appreciation when he and his family are saved from a gang of marauding savages on the city streets. But no. I'm afraid not, sugar. And the main reason why I say this is because his savior is none other than some biker chick called Lottie, and she leads them back to a rusty old shack named, 'Gomora'. 

Yeah. That's right. I said 'Gomora'. If you want to know where this very savage dwelling is located I suggest that you ask anyone who lives there. Like marauders, muscle bound twins, biker stereotypes, or even hapless victims who are awaiting to be sacrificed to a couple of Darkseid's Parademons.

Bless 'em.

As some of you might have gathered by now I haven't been too pleased with the last couple of installments of 'Earth 2'. More or less they all seemed to have come across as fairly disposable entities in their own right. And as much as I've enjoyed the artwork provided by Andy Smith, and the characterisations by Tom Taylor, from a narrative point of view I would've preferred it if this series went out with a bang instead of a whimper.

Take this issue for example. In my eyes Andy has really excelled himself with a very clean and bold depiction of everyone involved, by garnishing every page with an almost 'Steve Dillon esque' quality in both characterization and pacing. This was then enhanced even more so when Tom managed to transform a simple hunter / hunted premise on its head, which eventually put the main characters in a situation they weren't initially expecting. However, from that moment onward's....

... I found myself wondering what was happening to some of the supporting characters involved with the plot. I mean, I take it that the heroes featured in this tale were the Earth 2 version's of Dick Grayson, Barbra Gordon, their son Johnny, plus Ted Grant.

So where did Ted disappear to after page three? And why have him in this book if he could be ignored so easily? You can also say the same thing about Johnny too? Why include him in a story which ultimately felt disposable like everything else associated with it?

Of course I do mean this with all due respect. It's just that I was hoping for something better. Damn.

Now if you want to know why I'm musically matching up this adventure with any song composed by Lalo Schifrin, then please, by all means, check out the following section.

On a conceptual level I'd say this story was about a group of people who are trying their best to get away from another group of people. Also, from a stylistic point of view it was very seventies to look at. Just like that Clint Eastwood film made in 1977. You know. That one called 'The Gauntlet'.

Well, he does have a bike! So that must count for something, right?

At the end of this adventure Dick said something to Barbra I wished I could believe in. So just for fun -- hypothetically -- can you guess what he said out of the following eight options?

  1. Damn. Your bikini is chaffing my thong.
  2. ... and then Tom said to me, 'Don't worry, Dick darling. Andy promised us a good time over in the Batman comic book'.
  3. Thank God monkeys use hair spray to wax their bottoms. If they didn't I don't think we would have escaped with our genitals intact.
  4. Does Dan Didio have a sister called Doris? As I've always wanted to meet a Doris Didio!
  5. Everything is going to be alright.
  6. Did you fart, babe? Cause it sure does pong in this part of the plot!
  7. How come I was the one who had to have sex with that horse?
  8. The-the-thatttt'ssss alll folks!

Nuff said.