I'm ever so sorry to hear about your husband's suicide, Ms Hanneman (Leslie Brooks). When I first heard the news I thought how awful it must be for two newlyweds to separate so soon after their marriage. Yet, if you don't mind me for asking, do you actually think your beloved shot himself or not?
You see, according to the police, you're other half didn't end his own life due to two very specific reasons. Firstly, none of his finger prints were found on the murder weapon. And secondly, there weren't any scorch marks left behind on his clothing, either.
So, if Mister Hanneman (John Holland) never killed himself, who do you think did, eh? I mean, could it have been you, Ms Hanneman? Or should I call you the sneaky seductress, Claire, who will inherit his vast fortune now he's gone! Or better yet, could it have been your work colleague, Les (Robert Paige)? Or should I say your boyfriend, Les, who's somehow fallen madly in love with you!
Hmm? What's that, you cold hearted witch? You have nothing to add? Oh good. Then that's most probably why what next transpires all goes blonde when you set your sights on another wealthy gentleman. As a blackmailer eventually meets his match - a battle of the sexes has an egg to hatch - a lover is framed for a millionaire's murder - and at the end of the day, a psychiatrist strikes harder than an iron girder.
On a conceptual level I'd say 'Blonde Ice' conveys' two fairly distinct gender based story-lines. On the one hand it's about a woman who seduces her way into wealth and good fortune, even if she has to kill someone to accomplish this goal. Whilst on the other hand it's about how certain men can be a right sucker for a pretty face.
I mean, what a b*tch, right? If I was in Robert's shoes I'd tell her to go f*ck herself and never see her again. But what does he do instead? Nothing. He just sits there and makes small talk until a policeman turns up and whisks him away for further questioning.
Now please don't take what I've just said the wrong way, dear reader. Apart from this slight nuance, I thought the rest of this flick was just amazing through and through. On occasion I was so caught up with what some of the characters were facing -- especially in those scenes with the head-shrink and the sneaky journalist -- I literally leapt out of my seat and started shouting at the screen with emotional fervor. 'Don't let her do that to you, dick-head', I once yelped. Followed by a tirade of other such phrases such as 'money grabbing b*tch', 'idiot', 'c*ck tease', and 'you go get her doc!'.
Yet, do you know why this film grabbed me like it did, movie mates? No. It's not because a 'c*ck tease' once stiffed me in the past. It's because most the principle actors made me believe in its premise -- and I do mean most of the actors, even the supporting ones. Plus the premise was so well structured and so well handled -- brilliantly balancing out both halves of this adventure in equal proportions -- it didn't matter to me that some of the sets were rather nth rate in tone.
Overall I'd say 'Blonde Ice' is one hell of a cracking film for all you adulterers out there. So if you're in the mood to take tips from a femme fatale who will stop at nothing to get what she wants, hey, check this out! OK. So it might be an old film. But who cares? Just as long as a film can make you feel something, it will always be a great film in my book
THE RATING: A-