|[ SUSHI SALE ]|
The universe is a vast and complicated organism, comprising of endings, beginnings, as well as one table spoon of olive oil, two chopped onions, three medium chopped carrots, a sprig of thyme, and some leanly sliced leftover roast chicken, shredded with the skin removed, ready for Frank Tieri and Vicente Cifuentes to eat, in May, 2015. Thanks for the recipe, DC Comics. Bon appetit!
To QUOTE Someone Who Likes Puns, Entering A Fishmongers: 'Nice plaice you got here. Cod awful smell though'.
Now you never guess what Aquaman's gone and done? No! Not our Aquaman. Another Aquaman from the Flashpoint universe. A nasty one. Well, he's only gone and kidnapped Mera, and instructed his army of men to stop her friends from saving her!
Yeah. Go on. You ask any of them. Sally-speed. Badly drawn She-Hulk. Zigga-Zig-Ah. Foxy-Brown. Plus that blonde bint with the S on her chest. You go and ask them how old fish-face and his fowl fiends fended them off, one by one, despite some of them being able to penetrate his inner most sanctum.
Oh! Wait a minute! Penetration? That gives me a great idea, BANG! THUNK!
To be honest, the one thing about this adventure I really did like was the artwork provided by Vicente Cifuentes. Now don't get me wrong. Frank Tieri's tale of love and death did have a very gutsy and earthy feel. Plus occasionally there were some spot on characterisations in the superhero dialogue department. Yet to me, Vincent's illustration's saved the day. Primarily because they had a stark and bubbly tone that suited this type of tale. And secondly, I did like the way he staged certain scenes, framing them in a somewhat suspenseful manner that both aided and added intrigue to the plot.
However, where this tale falls flat on its ass, has to do with everything else it had on offer. Again, with all due respect to Frank's fine story-line, as he really does know how to put words into women and bad men's mouths, it's just that...
... aesthetically, the tone of this issue was vastly different to the tone of the one published last month. Where as last time around the actual story-line was a fairly light-hearted affair, full of feminine based humour and a pregnancy, this time around the story-line had a somewhat sinister edge to it, tinged with a few shocking scenes I personally wasn't expecting.
Now a good example of this can be seen in that scene where Aquaman forces Vixen to shoot herself in the head. Shocking. I know. But to make this sequence even more peculiar, afterwards, Vixen manages to walk away from this encounter, even though I half thought she was dead.
Also, another thing about this issue I wasn't too sure of, was the way in which each of the heroes fought Aquaman one at a time. To me, this very pedestrian structure gave the flow of the story a very normalised feel. Almost as if a certain character was given the space to have their time in the spotlight, showing off what they could do on the page.
I'm now going to musically match up this adventure to the rock anthem, 'Blood in the Water', mostly because there's a lot of blood and water in it. Yeah. Simple as that.
Last month I compared this comic book to the Spice Girls because, in a round about way, the characters in it resembled them in both tone and stature. This month, however, and I felt that the characters had a much more darker edge to them. An edge so dark, and so edgy, that I now feel compelled to compare this tale to a darker version of the Spice Girls.
You know. Someone like Shakespeares Sister for instance. Not sure who's who though. Ha!
At the very end of this issue Mera does something to Aqua-Bad-Ass which is pretty damn surprising. So, for the shear hell of it -- about time -- how about you try and guess what she does out of the following eight options?
- Jumps onto his shoulders and requests a piggy-back ride.
- Sticks him with a knife.
- Tells him she's a man.
- Asks him out for some sushi.
- Explains to him that a man and a woman don't always have to get on.
- Urinate, without telling him.
- Sing a duet together, entitled, 'Where have all the flowers gone?'.