Do you take two bottles into the shower? Do you feel that both acid and bleach can help you scrape away the Joker's evil medical toxins? I don't. I just take a comic book created by Scott Snyder and Greg Capullo. Want to know why? It's because DC Comics are worth it, in August, 2015!

To QUOTE Neil from 'The Young Ones': 'We sow the seed. Nature grows the seed. Then we eat the seed'.

Before we proceed, I would like you to know that I will be giving away some spoilers whilst reviewing this issue of Batman. I don't want to, of course. But alas, it's the only way I can tell you how I feel about it, without being too vague, too obtuse, or too... errr... potato-albatross-mango.

OK, so after the obligatory first-page spread, alluding to this month's flower-powered villain, Mister Bloom, we start off this episode from where the last one left off: With Jim Gordon asking Bruce Wayne for some help.

But as we all know, this is a story written by Scott Snyder, and Scott isn't the type of writer who's going to make Gordon say something pedestrian like, 'Hey, Bruce. I know you were once the Batman. But I need your help, pal. So come on. Please tell me how to be your replacement!'. Instead, Gordon informs Bruce that, yes, indeed, he is the new Batman. And yes, he'd also need his help with this new Mister Bloom character. Help, mainly because Bruce once owned Wayne Tech, Wayne Tech is now owned by the Powers Corps, and Jim wants Bruce to reprogram his Bat-suit, because the Powers Corps has used technology that Bruce once owned via Wayne Tech, and doesn't want his superiors to monitor all of his activities.

Have you got all that? Good. We can now move on.

Now in turn Bruce uncharacteristically tells Gordon that he doesn't want to help him out, justifying his stance by saying that he's a 'new man now', and would rather spend his time in the clinic helping out his new love interest, Julie Madison (more on her next month). But that said, do you know what the most surprising thing about this statement truly is? He's right you know. Bruce Wayne is a different person now. Completely different. After his battle with the Joker, he died and was brought back to life thanks to the Joker's Dionesium, which, surprise-surprise, healed his wounds, cleaned his mind, and has made him into a Batman-less Bruce Wayne -- almost as if his parents were never killed all those many years ago.

We find out these fact's in the following sequence, when Alfred Pennyworth explains to Clark Kent, AKA Superman, what happened to Bruce during his time away, following 'End Game'. Essentially, this sequence is one of those sequences that has good bits in it and bad bits in it. On the positive side, I did like seeing Alfred interacting with Clark, finding out what's happened / happening to Bruce, plus what's Julie's role within the scheme of things. Whereas on the bad side I wasn't totally sold on Bruce's Bat-machine idea, hint-hint, as it didn't feel quite right to me.

Then, once this part of the plot is finally told, we're next presented with Bat-Jim's initial dilemma: Who is Mister Bloom, and how are his seeds powering the villains in the city? Answer: The Penguin will find out in the last dynamic sequence (beautifully illustrated by Greg Capullo), when... when... when... nah... I've said too much already. Although what I will say, is that this adventure ends on one hell of a harrowing note. Robocop sucks, Ha!

To find out why I'm musically matching up this months tale to the Stylistics classic, 'You Make Me Feel Brand New', you best check out the following section.

I think. Ha!

Now if you want to know why I'm comparing this comic book to a colored brick, not necessarily a lego brick, all I can say is that you should really pick up this issue to find out why.

Here's a clue. My comparison is to do with rebuilding new things out of old things.
At the very end of this issue we see Mister Bloom doing something very-very harrowing to the Penguin. So, just for the shear hell of it -- well, why not? -- let's see if you can guess what that something is out of the following eight options. Because does he...

  1. Stab him in his stomach with his root: The tart.
  2. Grab him by his groin with his petals: The tease.
  3. Ask him to water his begonias: The dirty sod.
  4. Sow his seed the old fashioned way: The proctologist.
  5. Charges him double because he's wrapped in a bow: The florist.
  6. Inform him that his nose is too big: The b*tch.
  7. Leap over him with gay abandon: The long-jump.
  8. Castrate him with the use of his thorns: The... ouch!!!
Nuff said.