LAUGHABLE COMIC BOOK HEROES - FOUR MAJOR MISSES

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Section Eight We are in the prime of comic book superhero movies. The Avengers, Batman, Superman and Spiderman are constantly giving us box office smashes and we can't get enough of it. But not all superheroes deserve time on the big screen. Some don't even deserve time in comic books, and that's when you have to look through the vault of failed heroes to see some gems that are so bad, they're good.


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Madam FatalMadam Fatal

Madam Fatal is like "Murder She Wrote" meets "Golden Girls" meets "Fight Club" before all three were ever created. The comic started in the 1940s and the heroine's talent was exactly what you picture: she was an old lady who went around and punched people. But these were no normal punches, you see. Madam Fatal did have super strength, but not from radiation or because she was an alien.

Madam Fatal was actually a Mister. That's right, the big secret behind her powerful punches was that she was actually a he, which is about the most boring background a superhero can possibly have. A cross-dressing crime fighter might actually be more relatable in 2015, but in 1940, this comic fell flat on the ground.


RubberduckRubberduck

Rubberduck, probably the worst literal creation by DC, is exactly what it says: a duck that stretches like rubber. But the concept isn't nearly as bad as the design, which looks pretty much like Donald Duck in a hero costume. Oh, and his alter ego's name is Byrd Rentals. Looks like that "Smokey and the Bandit" popularity spread all across the comic universe.

The rubber used in Rubberduck would be better used in industrial manufacturing, that's how bad this hero is. But don't worry, you won't be running into it on the shelves because DC quickly stuffed this one right into the ground.


The WhizzerThe Whizzer

No, this isn't a superhero who pees on you. Unfortunately, the real story behind this dud isn't much better. The Whizzer is actually one of Marvel's earliest creations. And when you hear his origin story, you can see that Marvel had some kinks to work out in the creative department during its early days.

The Whizzer gets his powers after getting bit my a cobra in Africa, when he receives a blood transfusion from a mongoose, inheriting its super speed (hence the real whizzing). His origin story sounds like a bad game of mad libs, and it's no surprise The Whizzer was flushed right down the toilet.


The Elongated Man
The Elongated Man

The Elongated Man has a sad history before the first illustration, because the character didn't even need to exist. Unbeknownst to the creator, DC bought the rights to Plastic Man (the character Elongated Man is basically ripping off) a few years earlier. But where Elongated Man had opportunity to improve on Plastic Man's story, it miserably failed.

At least The Whizzer started from an animal bite, which is just like Spiderman. Elongated Man basically took a rare soda, yes, a soda, and boiled it down into a concentrate that gave him the powers. It's like they weren't even trying, and it lasted about as long as Plastic Man's secret with DC.