Once upon a time there was a... there was a.... errr? What was there again? A boy? A man? A princess? No-No-No! Damn! I forgot. Although I'm sure I remembered what was there, but now, well, I kind of forgot, and being forgetful is at the very heart of the following story created by Dan Abnett, Brett Booth, and published by DC Comics. It's August, 2016, and it's time for the Titans review.

TO QUOTE a Diva with amnesia: 'Excuse me, but don't you recognize who I am?"'.

Many years ago I had a dream where I talked to a younger version of myself. In this dream, the young me instructed the older me to get a tattoo -- which I eventually did --  before explaining why I shouldn't get too excited about this second issue of the Titans. 'The story is a bit naff so please don't get too pissed off', I said to myself, 'Just try to keep in mind that Dan can write a good story on occasion, plus Brett's artwork is always a treat to behold'.

So, the moral of this dream is, don't eat too much cheese before you fall asleep, amen. Ha!

Seriously though, folks, the getting a tattoo part of my missive did actually happen, and I did eventually get a Bat / Ankh shaped tattoo scratched onto my shoulder. But as for all that other stuff about Titans #2, well, that's also true, although that never took place while I was dreaming; I was wide awake while I was saying that.

You see, at the start of the book, we are presented with a scene where Linda Park manages to worm her way onto a crime scene, only to discover that the Teen Titans, a younger version of the original Teen Titans, are standing in the middle of Keystone City, staring off into the distance. Linda is obviously very curious as to what is going on here, and so she approaches Wally West, who she recognizes from the Rebirth one-off special, and asks him just that. Wally, in a strange yet maniacal way, then explains to Linda that he and the rest of the group feel like they've just been reborn, thus prompting them to run around in the streets as though they were a gang of juvenile super-villains.    
The peculiar thing about this is that for all intense and purposes they are villains; youthful villains conjured up by the partly forgotten Flash bad-guy, Abra Kadabra. As soon as this fact is revealed, the real Titans suddenly show up, and, you know, do that whole, 'I'm going to beat you up until you tell me the truth' scenario. Bish-Bash-Boof! The end.    

Now please don't get me wrong. This story did have some great scenes in it which gave it a lot more substance. Like Brett's always bedazzling artwork, for instance, as well as the way each character had a nice little moment with their younger counterparts (Does Roy love Donna? Naahhh!). But apart from that, errr, as the story goes, that's about it for now. The Teen Titans show up, Abra Kadabra is then unveiled, and to top it all off, the Titans also show up and fight the Teen Titans, albeit a younger and more maniacal version of themselves, amidst quips, slaps, and whatever.  

Fortunately, the one thing about all this I really did enjoy, was when Abra said, 'He must have broken time already', with some emphasis placed on the 'He' part of that sentence, as well as when he mentioned that Linda is meeting Wally 'too soon', almost insinuating that this wasn't supposed to happen.

I wonder what any of this means? At a guess, I'd say the 'he' Abra is referring to is Doctor Manhattan, and that somehow he's broken time and changed the course of these events. It seems that way, doesn't it? Also, why is it implied that Linda's relationship with Wally is the key to this mystery? From reading Wally's solo Flash series I know that Linda was his anchor every time he darted off into the time-stream, but how does that connect to the Titans? He wasn't with them very much during his time as the fastest man alive.

Let's just hope that we find this stuff out pretty soon, eh? As I don't want it to drag on for too long! In the meantime, though, great art, thin story, some gradual character development, and a pretty so-so issue. Fingers crossed, it'll get better soon.

For this month's musical match up I'd like to place this adventure next to the Fun song, 'We Are Young', as it insinuates that some people never grow old gracefully, and visa-versa, wink-wink!

Now if you've already spotted the picture of Oil of Olay provided, and are wondering how the hell it can be compared to this particular comic book, please try to keep in mind that this beauty product always tries it's best to defy age, and that is what the Titans, both versions, are trying to do in this issue.

Boy, I am good!

At the very end of this episode Abra Kadabra does something pretty mean to Garth. So for the sake of cod -- not God -- let's see if you can guess what he does out of the following eight options. Could he...

  1. Kick him in the crab-sticks.
  2. Tell him he stinks of fish.
  3. Pull his hair.
  4. Give him a Kardashian.
  5. Take away his black-manta.
  6. Massage his haddock.
  7. Read him this review.
  8. Zap him.
Nuff said.


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