DON'T SWEAT OVER YOUR CHRISTMAS SWEATSHIRT

© Absolute Cult 2017

Last year I had a bit of a problem when I was asked to review one, just one, of the many-many-many designs produced by a t-shirt manufacturing company. This wasn't a huge problem, of course, because I eventually managed to pick something to write about from their vast catalog of products, and trust me, I do mean vast. But in doing so, I started to question some of the other choices I made in my life, as well as my motivations behind those particular choices.

Yes. I do know that all this sounds rather strange and highly emotional. But if you think about it for a bit, if I chose a Batman design, would that imply that I'm a dark and mysterious crusader who likes to drive real fast? If I chose a Superman design, would that insinuate I'm powerful and fairly heavy handed, especially when it comes down to giving others a neck massage? Better yet, if I chose a design with Deadpool on it, well, be careful not to piss me off, or else I'd have to shoot you in the face, Bang-Bang-Bang!

After a while I was able to resolve this internal dilemma by telling myself to shut the f*** up, stop messing about, and just choose a God damn t-shirt to review. Which, quite frankly, helped me out when I was approached by another company a couple of days ago who -- yes, you guest it -- cordially invited me to review one of their Christmas themed sweatshirts.

© Absolute Cult 2017

This time though, my process of selection was a lot easier to follow than before. Personally, I like the Star Wars Christmas Carol Sweatshirt I ultimately ended up with (see picture provided), simply because I like the characters, I like it's style, I like what it stands for, and I like the way the sweater feels and looks on my frame, sporting a more quirkier look than what I normally go for, as well as being more subtle and less overt than some of the other designs they had on offer.

Now please don't get me wrong. All of their Marvel and Harley Quinn styled sweatshirts are very nicely designed and felt exactly the same. But having said that, I don't think the red-ish tints these garments exhumed would suit my more Goth-like and casual demeanor. Plus, to a certain extent, exactly the same thing could also be said for their Disney themed shirts, except in this instance my choice solely hinged on what characters I preferred from their selection.

Something else I'd like to mention about these sweatshirts are how they're all machine washable and designed specifically for this holiday season, which is really cool, particularly when you take into consideration that they are made from a cotton and polyester blend and comes with all official branding to prove it's authenticity.

But wait up. Before this review starts to sound like an actual review (heaven forbid), please let me take a quick side-step by telling you another story. One day, two jocks bumped into each other while they were on there way to the gym. 'Hey, dood', said one of the jocks, 'I like that sweatshirt you're wearing'. 'Yeah, same here', said the second jock, implying the same thing about the first jocks sweatshirt. 'Nah, man', said the first jock, 'Your sweatshirt is a lot more snazzier than mine'. 'No, it's you who are mistaken', said the second jock, 'Your sweatshirt is amazing, not mine'. 

Now for the next couple of minutes these two jocks started going back and forth, disagreeing with each others point of view, and with each passing spat their mutual agitation grew, and grew, and grew, until eventually they both started to fight. This resulted in them both being stopped by a passing tutor who attempted to resolve their quarrel once and for all.

'Hey! What are you two arguing for?', exclaimed the tutor. 'He won't admit that his sweatshirt is better than mine', replied the first jock. 'Crap', said the second jock, 'That idiot doesn't know what he's talking about!'. But then, before either jock could continue, the tutor stepped in, raised his hand in the air, and said, 'What in hell is wrong with you two clowns? There's nothing to argue about here. You're both wearing exactly the same sweatshirt'.

Ouch! Be-warned. Punchlines can seriously damage your health. Unless it's wearing a sweatshirt by Absolute Cult. Merry Christmas