10 TERRIBLE CELEBRITY INVESTORS - BETTING HIGH, WINNING LOW

How long have I been sitting here, by the side of this table? Two hours? Three hours? Maybe more? Well, however long it's been, the one thing I can say for certain is that I have no intention of leaving until I finally beat the bank! Curious expression that: beating the bank! As it’s not like I can physically assault an institution that invests and stores currency! And if I could, what would be the point of punching a pound or beating a buck? Deflation perhaps? Either way, my mind has been made up, and I’m not going to move away from this table, this blackjack table, without winning a hefty pile of cash from this casino.





Now, what have we got here? I'm showing the eight of diamonds and I've covered my two of clubs, while the beautiful blonde lady leaning next to me has just revealed her six of hearts and seven of spades. So, with thirteen in hand, I presume she’s going to make the dealer hit her with another card next. Go on. Do it. And I hope the final outcome will bring a great big smile to your beautiful blonde face.

Flip! Or maybe not. Saying so because the next card out appears to be the ten of hearts! A card, I hasten to add, which brazenly batters our buxom beauty right on the bonce, Bust, before bouncing her butt all the way to the nearest bathroom. Poor cow! That must have hit her harder than any real hand ever could. Game over!

Okay, so who’s next? Oh yes. It’s that old Chinese gentleman who’s slouched at the edge of the table. Mike, I think his name is, although I could be wrong. Now, if I remember rightly, I’m pretty damn sure he’s lost at least three times the amount of money I have, maybe more, and after looking at that large pile of chips he’s just stacked up, it's fairly obvious he’s now going to go into kamikaze mode. Attack-Attack-Attack!!!

Flip! The first card out is the Queen of clubs, which is a nice start. Flip! Then comes the three of diamonds. Hmm! That could have been better. Flip! And finally, his hidden card is revealed to be the seven of spades, which totals twenty with three cards! Stick, and well played, so it’s now the dealers turn to counter-attack. 

Flip-Flip-Flip! Ka-pow! The f*ckers got twenty-one with three consecutive cards, namely, the two of diamonds, the nine of clubs, and the ten of who-gives-a-toss. What a lucky banker! He did it. He actually did it. He managed to take down the poor Chinese man with a pile of polluted paper. Up next... me! The man behind the best casino reviews. Oh boy. 

So let’s see: The cards I presently have in my hand add up to the value of ten, so that means I need a number from seven to eleven to be in with a chance of winning, preferably eleven. But in a pack of cards, there are twelve picture cards, four aces, and sixteen cards with a value from seven to ten. Therefore, in a deck of fifty-two cards, thirty-two meet my criteria, minus the seven cards that have come out already, including mine, which results in twenty-five cards left available for me to be successful.

So, what should I do? Should I play on or should I quit now? Odds-wise, I'm in with a fifty-fifty chance of coming out on top, maybe a bit more, and, as I said a few moments ago, I’m not going to move away from this blackjack table without winning a hefty pile of cash! Although, come to think of it, I'm sure the following celebrities said the same thing with their investments. Game On!!!!

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