My-oh-my! What fun it must be for four orphans to be guided towards Willy Wonka’s (Crispin Glover) chocolate factory, with the hope of a better life together. Lucy (Jayma Mays) likes to think so anyway, because she is f*cking stupid. Peter (Adam Campbell) on the other hand is not so sure, because he's a bit of a p*ssy and looks like a gay. And as for Susan and Edward (Faune Chambers and Karl)! Who cares? She's a stuck up b*tch and he smells of curry.
But, do you know what? The funny thing about 'the four orphans' view on this matter, is that it does not matter! Willy Wonka beats the sh*t out them, with the intent on using their body parts for his popular confectioneries.
Ouch! What a drag! So what should the orphans do to try to prevent this from happening to them, huh? Hmm. Maybe they should stumble into that mysterious looking Magical wardrobe in the corner of the room one at a time, and then transport themselves to the otherworldly world called Gnarnia (solely for copyright reasons of course). Moreover, while they are there, they should involve themselves with some strange Mexican pedophile called Tumnus (Hector Jimenez), plus a bitch called the White Bitch (Jennifer Coolidge), for no apparent reason what so ever.
Oh! And before I forget, they should discover that they are all related to each other and then make funny noises.
Yes. That's right. These ebony and ivory m*ther fuckers are all related to each other somehow. And they all have superpowers too. Well, I suppose that is why what next transpires is all to do with bashing a beaver called Harry! As Captain Jack Swallow is a boar - Harry Potter knows the score - The White Bitch has nice tits - and Borat is the pits.
To sum up 'Epic Movie' in a single sentence, all I have to say is ‘An amalgamation of spoofed movies does not a comedy make’. Now I am sure that you can most probably guess from my statement, that I did not really care for this film all that much. Well, I am afraid to say that it is one of those movies. The humor is too forced. The story is none-existent. The structure is convoluted. And all in all it's just... errr.. sh*t.
Listen, I do not wish to sound pious or pretentious by saying all of this, because the actors were as good as they were allowed to be, and the special effects were just great too. Here, let me explain: (1) The plot of this film was overshadowed by the spoofed nature of the piece. Relentlessly it constantly tried to reference other films and forms of media entertainment, with the hope that this would somehow be entertaining. (2) The main four leads in this film did not seem to be able to exert there presence within the overall pretext of the story. Now I am not trying to imply that they was not any good in it. Oh no. Its just that the ‘other stuff’ seemed to always get in the way, without the individual character’s coming through at all. (3) The humor of this film relies heavily on people getting hit and ‘referenced’ humor. The problem with this tactic however, is that if you don’t get the ‘reference’, and the slapstick is too repetitive, it’s just not any good. And (4) Too much is too much. Even if you want to like something, deep down you know that some things work and other things don’t. And in this case – for me – the ‘other things’ didn't.
OK, OK, OK, before I slander this film any more, lets have some filmic facts: (1) Jayma Mays and Adam Campbell first met on the set of this film, and they married in October 2007. (2) This is Roscoe Lee Browne's last movie. (3) This movie never had a critics screening. (4) 'Eagles of Death Metal' had a cameo in the party scene. (5) Karl Penn was born in New Jersey, he lives in L.A., and comes from Gujarati Indian descent. (6) Jennifer Coolidge was a very active member of the Groundlings comedy troupe. (7) Faune Chambers first television role was in 'Everybody Loved Raymond'. (8) Carmen Electra comes from Irish, German, and Cherokee, decent. And (9) Tony Cox was a drummer by the age of ten.
All in all I would just like to say that 'Epic Movie' wasn't a ‘not bad’ film. Personally speaking of course, I found that it took a tried and tested formula of lampooning films within a film, and then came up with a dud. I liked the actors. I liked the adventure angle that this film took. And I even liked one or two of the jokes as well. But ‘Epic Movie’ was no 'Epic'. At best it was a film that tried to do too much and came unstuck in the execution. Shame really. As I really wanted to like this film too. And do did the makers. Right guys?
Strange? Their interview is better than the film!
THE RATING: C-