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I am sure by now that nigh on most comic book fans have heard the news that DC Comics have decided to ‘reinvigorate’ their ‘universe of characters’. So what do I think about all this? Happy? Sad? Horney? Slightly sadistic with a pineapple on top? Hmm? Maybe the last one? But within reason on of course.

The Story of DC Comics

The internet is a buzzing – the message-boards are ablaze – and in top of that, the world of DC Comics is left naked like a painted lady in the snow. “Why naked?” you may ask. Well, if you come to think about it for a moment or two, their plan of ‘rebuffing’ the DC Universe after the crossover mini-series ‘Flashpoint’, is a very bold thing to do.  Now please allow me to use my analogy of a naked-lady to illustrate what I mean by this:

  • Renumbering an existing line of publications: Sometimes the naked form is very supple; sometimes it is Rosanne Bar – smooth or saggy.
  • New number ones: The butt of a lady can be very attractive to watch at times, whilst at other times it just droops to the floor – bounce or flop.
  • The digital stance: On occasion, being naked can be very beneficial to your skin, due to the holistic properties that the environment brings – yahoo or google.
  • Slightly new eenditions of existing characters: It has been known that cosmetic surgery on a more mature woman can be very flattering to her physique... sometimes – Goldie Hawn or Donatella Versace.

Do you see what I am getting at? Here – have a look at some of DC's new line...

OK, I am sure that you agree that this does appear like a very bold step in DC’s history, and does not really seem too bad in places either. Nevertheless, the problem lies with the naked lady – it’s a matter of taste. Some people like the naked form, and whip out their pecker whenever something like this rears its head (pun intended). Where as other people think that this form of 'buffed-behavior' is somewhat crude and distasteful, and shy away from it at the drop of a nut sack (pun intended again). Personally speaking, I am somewhere in-between – one-half head and one-half nut sack – and I only frown upon this endeavour for three reasons:

  • Cancellation of titles that need not be cancelled: To nix a popular title just for the sake of ‘product re-positioning’ – is the same as having a reverse-enema – moving sh*t around and hoping that it will stick
  • A new renumbering system that is replacing historical context: A new number one for Batman, Detective, and Action Comics – is like a saggy tit that needs a tan – no point.
  • Conceptual in the execution: If DC want to keep both old and new readers happy, why don’t they tell them what is going on? Instead of teasing us like a bare-naked lady prancing about in the snow.

This is what DC have to say about the matter...

So there you have it folks, the new 52 is upon the horizon, and I for one am hoping for a naked lady with style and grace that will means something more than just a cosmetic update. Will it be a Jennifer Aniston or a Courtney Cox? Will it be a Paris Hilton or a Kim Kardashian? Or will it be a mixture of a young Meryl Streep and a more mature Susan Sarandon?

Hmmm? What do you think?

DC and THE NAKED LADIES DC and THE NAKED LADIES Reviewed by David Andrews on August 22, 2011 Rating: 5
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