Now what do the following five heroes have in common? Obsidian. Tasmanian Devil. Starman. Bunker. And Batwoman. No! They don't all play table tennis with a baseball bat! Instead, they're all heroes of the homosexual persuasion. Well, last week, DC Comics have announced that one of their 'major icons' will be coming 'out of the closet'. So I just want you to have in mind what has come before, just as I now tell you who may be this next 'super shirt-lifter' . Here, check out my top ten candidates to wear the crown of fabulous.
Roleplaying in the DC Universe
10) Bunker: OK. I know that he is already gay. But maybe DC is doing a double bluff? And they are actually going to make this flamboyant hero into a more conservative hero? At least this way he wouldn't have to wear that silly purple costume anymore
8) Hawkman: Well, he has a lot of feathers on his costume, so maybe old parrot-face just decided to go with the flow, and give in to his more non-pretentious side. At least this way he would be less angry?
7) Spiderman: Listen, I have not forgotten that Peter Parker is a Marvel hero. Nonetheless, this might be a good way of DC trying to sabotage his up and coming 'Amazing' movie, whilst giving themselves a 'Perez Hilton' type credos in the process.
6) Guy Gardner: All of those years of surely behavior and pent-up frustration could be explained away if Guy 'liked the c*ck'. Also, it would additionally justify why he tries to macho-up a bit too much at times. Repression. Repression. Repression.
4) Green Arrow: Since DC have made 'Mr Queen' into a pale imitation of the man he once was, I suppose making him 'a gay' would not ruin him all that much. At least that way he can think of more imaginative ways of making his arrows fabulous.
3) Superman: Could the last son of Krypton be the first Son of Elton John? He has removed his underwear. He has added a Beatles collar to his tunic. He looks like a nice boy. And I am sure that living on a farm has broadened his horizons. So it's possible.
2) J'onn J'onzz: His hero-name is 'Martian Manhunter'. MAN-Hunter. Not PERSON-Hunter. Get it? Maybe this slight twist to old green genes will come about after he catches his fellow Stormwatch 'hero-homo's', Midnighter and Apollo, in a very compromising position, prompting him to then decide to show him his other muscle.
1) Aquaman: Many years ago there was a rumor floating around DC that Arthur Curry would be a homosexual hero. True. Maybe now the men behind the doors are going to put this into action, making this Curry hotter than usual.
So there you have it folks, my top ten list of possible poofter heroes. It's good news that DC are deciding to change their status-quo in this way. I just hope that the other heroes and the public can see it this way as well...