6 Feb 2013

JUSTICE LEAGUE #16

By David Lee Andrews   Posted at  05:30   JUSTICE LEAGUE

[ SPLASH THOSE SAVINGS!
I've always liked the taste of fresh fish. By in large it makes a very nice dish. Except when it bites back! And then starts an attack. Whilst making funny noises which swish. Yeah! Just ask the super creative team of Writer: Geoff Johns; Artists: Ivan Reis and Garry Frank; plus Publisher: DC Comics, if you don't believe me!!! But only in February 2013. OK?

Using GENERAL terms, answer the following 5 questions about this CROSS-OVER EVENT entitled 'Thrones Of Atlantis'.
  • WHAT'S THE MAIN THRUST OF THIS TALE: Simply put: Aquaman is smack dab in the middle of a rock and a very hard place. On the one hand he has to stop the Justice League from attacking Ocean Master, thus preventing a war between Atlantis and the surface world. Whilst on the other hand, he has to appease Ocean Master, for exactly the same reasons.
  • ARE THE MAIN OBJECTIVES ACHIEVED: No. Not at all. Resulting in the League swimming with the fishes.
  • ANYTHING ELSE HAPPEN: After hearing a story from one of Aquamans old mentors -- called Vulko -- Victor (Cyborg) Stone attempts to save another one of Aquaman's old mentors from falling into wet hands.
  • HOW DOES THIS STORY END: Just prior to being upgraded by STAR Lab, Cyborg calls in some reinforcements. A lot of them very familiar faces. Hint-Hint!
  • WHAT'S THE BACK-UP FEATURE ABOUT: Whilst Sloth wakes up his sister, Pride, from her long overdue slumber, Black Adam tries his best to kill Captain Marvel. Say no more.

What is the most memorable SENTENCE OR CONVERSATION spoken in this issue?
I'm afraid to say that Ocean Master just came across like a Saturday morning 'cartoon villain' with every single word he spoke. Here, read this segment after Batman attacks him...

OCEAN MASTER: This surface dweller raised his hand to me -- me -- the King of Atlantis. It is my right to kill him.
AQUAMAN: Atlantean law does not apply here.
OCEAN MASTER: You confuse me, brother. Has breathing air for so long damaged your mind? First you threaten me, then you attack those who threaten me, then you threaten me again?

Now doesn't that sound a bit hooey to you, dear reader? As if old fin-head employed the host of a children's television programme to write his dialogue for him. 

What was the BEST thing about this issue?
Without being too overt, the four things I really did enjoy about this issue were: (1) How Cyborg was utilized more than he has been in the past. (2) The Red-Tornado and Metal-Men references hinted at in the 'STAR Labs scenes'. (3) The 'reinforcements' reveal on the very last page. And (4) As per normal, the Shazam back-up feature is always a pleasure to read.

What was the WORST thing about this issue?
OK, so let me get this straight: Aquaman can now punch Superman through a watery torrent and out into the wide blue yonder? Huh? What gives?!?!?! Did I miss something here? Like a whole new super-charged Orin or example! How did he become so strong all of a sudden? Or am I missing something I never caught in his title?

If you know, please drop me a spam, OK?

What was the most INNOVATIVE thing about this issue?
In the Shazam back-up feature, I did find it very creative how the Captain Marvel and Black Adam battle was depicted so brutally, that it directly forced the 'Big Red Cheese' to 'power down' to Billy before running away.

Please note: I'm not implying that this tactic in itself was creative. Because it's not. I've seen it done many-many times previously. I'm referring to the brutal intent behind this tactic, because I've never seen Cap running scarred, have you?

Pick TWO CHARACTERS out this comic book, and compare them individually to a SIMPSONS CAST MEMBER.
THE SEA CAPTAIN AS OCEAN MASTER: Come on. Please don't tell me you would never put these two nautical nit-wits together? It makes some sort of a sense if you shut your eyes and hear them both speak!

CARL AS CYBORG: Well, let's face it; I don't have much of a choice in the African-American department, do I?

What WORD or PHRASE could you use to sum-up this story?
'Man overboard' -- Someone on the Titanic

What SONG, THEME-TUNE, or MELODY, would complement this tale, as well as add and extra dimension to it by default?
'DON'T GO CHASING WATERFALLS' BY TLC: Now how can I not compare this adventure to this anthemic and catchy song which shares a very similar and watery vibe?




ANYTHING Else?
Whist I am sitting here in front of my keyboard, I'm desperately trying to think of something positive to write about this 'Justice League' comic book. In the past I felt that I have been somewhat overly critical about this series, without really giving it a chance to prove itself as a new venture in its own right. The art is fantastic. The team of heroes assembled is a great one. And the back-up feature is out of this blooming world.

Yet, in the same breath, I do have a problem with the price and the types of characterless stories it tries to tell.

So what should do I do about it, huh? Moan as per usual? Turn a blind eye and hope for the best? Or what about if I recruit a hit-man to penetrate DC Comics, and then ask him to force them to hire someone like Alan Moore?

Huh? What's that you say dear reader? Alan won't work for DC anymore? Oh yes. I almost forgot about that. Plus I suppose Geoff Johns isn't a bad scribe when he stops messing about with highfalutin story-lines that appear to drift on for eternity.

Still, the question remains, how do we get Geoff to do this?

Hmmmmmmm?

Let's tweet! Must be cheaper than hiring a hit-man, huh?

GIVE IT, IT'S DUES: If this comic book was a fish, it would have to be a haddock. Clean tasting, yet kind of samey. 

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