Dragon On Fire / Enter Three Dragons
Oh my wok! What a silly sod Sammy (Samuel Walls) truly is! All this shady-looking street-urchin had to do; was to give a pouch of diamonds to a bunch of thugs in the cover of darkness. But no. Sammy gets sucker-punched by these thugs instead. And worst still, his boss thinks that he's double-crossed him, because the diamonds are nowhere to be found.
Well Buddha be praised! Who in Jackie Chan's name can help Sammy sort this mess out, huh? Micky (Nick Cheung Lik) and the Dragon perhaps?
No. Not Dragon Yeung (Bruce Thai). This vest-wearing nut-job wants to do a spot of sightseeing first. Of course I'm referring to Dragon Hung (Bruce Lai). The yellow cat-suit wearing nut-job who has an estranged brother, with a face on him like a bull-dog chewing a wasp!
Hey! Wait a minute! You do know the brother in question, don't you? Bruce Hung (Dragon Lee) is his name; and he's a right character he is. He can beat-up whoever he meets for no apparent reason what so ever. CRACK! Like gymnasts, POW! Loan-sharks, CRUNCH! And Monks, KA-PONG!
Yeah. Without a shadow of a doubt Bruce is a regular Lee in the game of martial arts. Moreover, he doesn't get kidnapped by a gang of thugs either -- like Yeung and Mick's sister do. Still, that's most probably why what next transpires really kicks off when two rival gang bosses step up the pace. As kung-fu fly's solo - please get ready for Bolo - everybody let's have a fight - plus two estranged brothers try their best to eventually reunite.
[ FRENCH VERSION - SORRY ]
Now have you ever watched paint dry before? If not. Don't worry. Watch 'Enter Three Dragons' instead. You'd have a similar experience.
Trust me, I'm a big martial-arts movie fan, and normally, low-production values, and bad dubbing, don't put me off this type of flick at all. However, there needs to be a story, right? Or at least a story you can follow in some capacity. Also, the dubbing in this piece just is so dire, it gives 'bad dubbing' a bad name.
Now where was I? Oh, yeah! I know. 'Enter The Three Dragons'. A film so terribly scripted; half-way through it I wanted to finish my laundry (and that's not a euphemism).
OK, I have to admit, there were a couple of things about this piece I didn't mind watching. For a start, I thought Dragon Lee, Lee Hoi San, and Bolo, all showed a lot of promise fighting on camera, without seeming too dry compared to the rest of the cast. Moreover, I got a right kick out of some of the 'westernised' incidental music, plus it also would have been nice to see a bit more of Bruce Thai in combat.
But as for the rest of this movie on the other hand? No. Afraid not. Mainly because the overall story was so jumbled to digest, I didn't know what in hell was going on from one moment to the next. It started off with Sammy getting knocked out and the diamonds getting stolen from him. Then there was some confusion in recruiting the appropriate Dragon for the adventure. Next there was something going on with 'Bruce' in a field. After that, most of the cast beat each other up for no apparent reason. Then gang-bosses double-crossing each other. Monks. A sister getting kidnapped. Excreta. Excreta. Excreta. Plus whatever else this film wanted to convey.
Boy-oh-boy! It's a shame really. I'm sure 'Enter the Three Dragons' could have been a lot better if it was more focused. Some of the fight scenes were quite nifty -- yet long -- to gaze at. And I bet my bottom dollar that the dubbing artists were having a right laugh at the audience expense, by not presenting on screen what was really going on.
Oh Bugger! Let's hope my next
offering is better than this one.