Champ Against Champ - Martial Monks of Shaolin Temple
Youu-whoooooo! Mister scary-looking Shaolin-monk type-person! Once you've finished disemboweling that ugly-looking cretin who can't digest his food properly, could you possibly help me avenge my master's death please? You know. By kicking the living cr*p out of that twat who's in charge of the Wu-Dong school, Kurt Wong (Jang Lee Hwang)!
Huh? What's that, Monk? You will help me! But only after this film dedicates itself to forty-five minutes of inane fighting sequences that don't amount to a hill of beans? Alright then. Fair enough. I suppose that sounds entirely reasonable within the scheme of things.
Yet, I must warn you, pal. My name is Dragon Lang (Dragon Lee), and I'm one mean looking mother who has the ability to kick and slide with the best of them.
Still. That's most probably why what next transpires all goes south when a Monk turns out to be not what he initially seems. As feet get licked - people get kicked - necks get clicked - and at the end of the day, nobody on this Godforsaken Earth with be able to predict what this flick can inflict.
Now who wants to get married?
Now if you're a big fan of films that are high in action, low on plot, and are chock full of dodgy camerawork, dodgier dubbing, plus a plethora of distracting looking wigs and mustaches, then please, sit down and have a look at 'Martial Monks of Shaolin Temple'.
Oh! And as for the fight sequences in themselves! Ouch! Don't get me started on that particular subject matter! It was as if the director took a nap and left it up to the actors to just duke it out amongst themselves for however long it took them to get tired. Whirling and flipping and flapping and fighting for the sake of extra screen time and nothing else!
Alright. I have to admit. There were a couple of fight sequences involving Dragon Lee and Jang Lee Hwang I didn't mind gawping at. Cause, as you may all well know, these two very proficient martial artists are very good at the old kick and punch. But apart from that.... errr... what can I say? My Mother always tells me to never criticize the disabled. And to me, this film is very-very disabled. From the plot upwards.
Overall I'd say 'Martial Monks of Shaolin Temple' is for die-hard martial-arts film-fans only. The story-line was a silly one. The actors did the best with what they had at hand. And some of the fight scenes were well worth the watch, but only if you don't mind watching a lot of distracting looking wigs and mustaches too.
THE RATING: C-