|[ CONVERGENCE FOR SALE ]|
To QUOTE Eminem: 'The truth is you don't know what is going to happen tomorrow. Life is a crazy ride, and nothing is guaranteed'.
'Where are we?' asks Alan Scott, as soon as he and the rest of the gang touch down on terra-firma. 'Beat's me?' exclaims Val Zod, 'Although I'll tell you this for nothing. We're sure not in
anymore!'. 'Agreed', quickly punctuates Doctor Thomas Wayne, 'And for that we
should be ever so grateful'.
'Grateful?' retorts Dick Grayson, 'What have we to be grateful for? My family are dead. Our world is dead. And all that remains is...'. 'Hey! Cut that out' says Jay Garrick, whilst giving Dickie-boy a well deserved slap in the face. 'Granted, we may be stranded in the middle of nowhere, but on the bright side of things, Yolanda Montez has a brand new set of claws'.
But then, suddenly, out of the blue, a ginormous yellow being arises from the centre of this barren wasteland, announcing to all and sundry -- and I do mean all and sundry -- that every living organism has to beat each other senseless for the sake of cross-over events and fan-boy entertainment. May God have mercy on DC's souls! Amen!
To be continued (Except for the people living on Earth-Injustice, wink-wink!).
OK. So what do we have here? Well, in my opinion, dear reader, we have everything a preliminary issue needs to tell an actual story-line. We have an initial introduction scene where we see a handful of heroes getting killed by an unknown force (great artwork by Carlo Pagulayan by the way. Very atmospheric and bold). We then have a group of intermediary characters that explain where they've been, what they are now doing, and what they should be doing next (kudo's also goes out to Scott Lobdell for trying his best at angst ridden dialogue). And finally, we have the sudden arrival of the bad-guy himself -- whatever his name is -- who basically declares the nature of the event from here on in.
'And what may that nature be?', you may ask. Simply put, Convergence is one of those tales where hero is pitted against hero for the survival of his or her own version of earth (or city in this case).
Admittedly, as a premise goes, this isn't the type of premise I normally go for. Not only because it's one big excuse for a humungous fight fest. But on top of that, the actual fighting taking place can sometimes supersede any form of characterisation.
However, where this issue is concerned, thankfully there was a lot of characterisation strewn on the page. My personal favourite was the inclusion of the Dick Grayson character and how he interacted with the other heroes of Earth 2. And as for the other heroes of Earth 2, on the other hand, yeah, they were pretty decent as well. Not great. Not yet anyway. But decent enough to sustain my intrest until the to be continued sign eventually showed its face.
In my last Convergence review I complained that it started off in a very presumptuous manner. Presumptuous, because issue zero expected all of us to be on the same page where it's initial explanation was concerned, and I wasn't because I don't follow any of the Superman titles. This time though, well, yes, I do read the Earth 2 books. And yes, I did understand what was being said, and how it tied into this very instalment.
But not everyone will be, will they? They'd be in the dark as I was last issue. And in my book, this is a very big no-no. Especially for a major cross-over event with some sort of earth shattering ramifications!
Oh! And while I'm on the topic of earth shattering ramifications, Earth-Injustice, tut-tut-tut! What a shame! Ha!
A large portion of this plot was dedicated to a question David Bowie sung about in one of his morbid songs. 'Where are we now?'... say no more.
I'm now going to compare this adventure to a boxing referee. And do you want to know why? Well, it's because of what Telos said to everyone living everywhere about what they should do next.
Round one, ding-ding, and we're off!!
You've seen him on the cover, and you've seen him in the book. But what is his name, eh? What's the actual name of Mister Many-Brainiacs-Inhabiting-The-Same-Body? Yes. I know that DC have called him Telos (click on the link to learn about what this name actually means). But come off it! Telos sounds like the name of a television made in
Wouldn't you rather call him...
- The Artist Formally Known as Braniac -- Hey! Let's Beat Prince At His Own Game!
I Am Shatner -- Bang-Bang Goes The
- Yul Brynner -- Well, The Bald Joke Worked in 'Cool Runnings'.
- Jerry Christ -- Brother of Jesus, Cousin of Oh My.
BountifulBrainiac -- Sounds Good To Me.
- Barry Manilow -- Yes. You Know You Want To.
- Bonny Hitler -- And You Thought Adolf Had Issues?
- A$$-H*le -- Kind Of Suits Him, Eh?