THE FALL GUY'S ONLINE DATING PROFILE

This month, Universal Pictures is releasing a brand new action comedy, entitled, 'The Fall Guy', which is based on a popular eighties TV show of the same name. It was directed by the American filmmaker, David Leitch, and stars Ryan Gosling, Emily Blunt, and Hannah Waddingham. So, to celebrate the release of the aforementioned film, I thought that it would be a jolly good idea to take a look at the titular character's online dating profile. Here 👇, check this out.

Personal information:
Full name: Colt Seavers / Age: 43, but can easily pass as 35 / Occupation: Stuntman / Location: At the moment, Australia / Relationship requirements: I'd like to meet a lovely lady who doesn't want to kill me / Longest relationship: I suppose my longest relationship was with the director of the film I'm currently working on, Jody Moreno

Distinguishing features:
Height: 6 ft / Weight: 168 lbs / Build: Athletic / Hair color: Brown with blond highlights / Eye color: Blue

Other attributes:
Do you like animals? I like dogs and b*tches / Do you drink? Yes, otherwise I'd be dehydrated / Do you want children? No, as they're all f*cking lazy / Do you consume drugs? Only on the weekends / Do you drive a car? I can drive anything, but mainly women wild

Favorite:
TV show: 'The Six Million Dollar Man' / Song: 'Danger Zone' by Kenny Loggins / Actor: Lee Majors / Singer: Sewing machine / Comedian: My accountant / Film: 'Once Upon a Time in Hollywood' / Color: Red / Meal: Chili peppers dipped in English mustard / Quote: 'The older you get, the better you get, unless you're a banana' - Rose from 'The Golden Girls'

Hobbies:
Driving cars very, very fast. Abseiling from skyscrapers. Running through burning buildings. Swimming with sharks. Wrestling tigers. Speaking in French. Farting in elevators. Parachuting from a gnome. Knitting in the dark. Playing with my nuts.

About me:
Hello. My name is Colt Seavers, and despite being unapologetically attractive, I sometimes find it very difficult to maintain a long and lasting relationship with a member of the opposite sex. But why? Why can't I find a soulmate who will stay by my side? Is it because I have a perilous profession that involves me crashing cars, jumping off buildings, and being punched in the face? Or is it because I can't keep my dick in my pants? Either way, please check out my profile and let me know what you think of yours truly, Colt Seavers, also known as that good-looking stuntman who can give you more bang for your buck.

First date:
As I'm a fairly adventurous guy, I was thinking that our date together could be someplace that reflects who I am and what I stand for. Somewhere like, a volcano, for instance, as I'm hot, I'm dangerous, and I'm ready to explode all over you. But if you don't like the sound of that, then how about we go somewhere slightly more conventional! Such as a posh restaurant somewhere in Hollywood, California, as they're normally populated by hot babes and dumb actors who think they know what they're talking about. Alternatively, we can go somewhere of your choosing, but only if it's not crap and doesn't cost much. In any event, let's go out and enrich our souls and swap some spit. Peace.

To see more character-based dating profiles, please feel free to click here to check out our section dedicated to all things love.