ROBIN HOOD'S DATING PROFILE

In June 2026, A24 released across America a cinematic adaptation of the 17th-century ballad, 'Robin Hood's Death'. Aptly titled, 'The Death of Robin Hood', the film is set in 13th-century England and focuses on Nottingham's legendary hero as he grapples with his violent past. It was directed by Michael Sarnoski and stars Hugh Jackman, Jodie Comer, and Bill Skarsgård. So, following its summer run, I thought it would be a jolly good idea to celebrate the film's recent UK release by taking a look at the dating profile for the titular character. Here 👇, check this out.

Personal information:
Full name: Robin of Loxley / Age: Old enough / Occupation: Retired wealth redistributor / Location: Medieval England / Relationship requirements: Someone who doesn't mind camping / Longest relationship: Undoubtedly, it was with one of my not-so-Merry Men, probably Little John

Distinguishing features:
Height: Tall / Weight: Lean / Build: Athletic / Hair color: Gray / Eye color: Hazel

Other attributes:
How ambitious are you? I was once ambitious, but not anymore / Do you drink? I love a refreshing flagon of ale / Do you want children? Only for target practice / Do you consume drugs? I prefer herbal remedies / Do you drive a car? I mainly drive rich people crazy

Favorite:
TV show: 'Arrow' / Song: 'Eat the Rich' by Aerosmith / Actor: Errol Flynn / Aroma: Not sh*t / Word: Bullseye / Film: 'Robin Hood: Men in Tights' / Color: Green / Meal: Anything I can digest without throwing up / Quote: 'A rich man is nothing but a poor man with money' - W. C. Fields

Hobbies:
Archery. Poaching. Moaning. Meddling. Polishing my bow. Splitting arrows. Evading the law. Arguing with a nun. Giving away money. Sleeping under the midnight sky. Not being killed. Orienteering.

About me:
To the outside world, I'm just a glorified outlaw who likes hanging out with a bunch of blokes. But no, I'm more than just that. For I am Robin Hood, the legendary marksman, the alleged philanthropist, and the miserable old sod who is trying to come to terms with his sordid past. Well, it isn't easy living with the fact that to give to the poor I had to sometimes kill the rich. But then again, what else could I do? Would a posh twat hand me a purse full of coins if I just asked him for it? No, of course not. The twat would rather tell me to take a running jump, resulting in me sticking the boot in. Anyway, if I seem like your type of fella, you know what to do. Write a message, attach it to an arrow, and then fire it my way. Aim high but think low.

First date:
Accepting a date with me will involve the two of us traveling to the nearest tavern and consuming whatever they have available, usually mead, meat, and music. We will then take a long walk through the forest and talk about my favorite subject, Bitcoin, before going back to my place so I can show you something I just adore. It's long, hard, and has a smooth shaft, but if you rub me up the wrong way, I will shoot it in your face. It's my lucky arrow. So, what do you say? Fancy going out with yours truly? Trust me, a fun time will be had by one and all, or else we will end up dead.

To see more character-based dating profiles, please feel free to click here to check out our section dedicated to all things love.