Now why on Earth do you think Niles Caulder named his team the 'Doom Patrol'? Do you think it could have anything to do with his laps shaving habits, perhaps? Or better yet, could it be anything to do with the following comic book Created by: Geoff Johns, Ivan Reis, and Published by DC Comics in August, 2014.

To QUOTE Wonder Woman In This Very Comic Book: 'Keep your friends close, and your enemies closer'.

'Please inform your "Doom Patrol" to back away from Jessica Cruz', says Lex Luthor to Niles Caulder. 'Never' replies Niles in turn. 'Why don't you tell your "Justice League" to take a hike, Lex?', he continues, 'That way me and my "Doom Patrol" can do what you really want to do all along. Analyse her ring for ourselves, Hahahaha!'.

"Hey! Will you two f*cking idiots knock it off" quickly interjects Batman. 'None of you will have anything to do with Jessica or her heinous ring! Especially not on my watch!'.

And so it finally came to pass that two teams fought over one very dubious object. Heroes talked. Enemies moaned. And a power ring flayed. But which side won, you might wonder? Lex and the League? Niles and the Doom? Or what about Batman and the... errr.. forget about it, folks! Just remember that it's going to be one hell of a bumpy ride. Ding-ding!

Have you ever had one of those moments where you punched the sky and yelped 'YESSS' out of sheer excitement? Well, that's what happened to me in this very issue, dear reader. It happened when Batman took charge of the situation and showed Jessica his more compassionate side, thus finally saving the day.

Of course it did help that Ivan's artwork was very expressive upon the page. Plus I did get a kick out of John's war of words between Niles and Lex, as well as how some of the Doom Patrol members were able to show their personality whilst battling the League.

Yet for me -- personally speaking -- Batman saving everyone's ass was the winner in my book. It was as though it was his time to say 'f*ck you, Lex', for him teasing him throughout the majority of this arch.  What's more, wasn't it nice to see the League in action again? It was about blooming time, eh?

Why the hell is everyone calling Batman 'Bruce' all of a sudden? Yes. I know it's because everyone knows who he is. But that doesn't mean this fact has to be shoved down peoples throats every couple of panels or so.

Furthermore, for an all action issue, there wasn't a lot of action in it either. Everything was put into place quite nicely. Yet after that we never saw a real tussle between the League and the Doom Patrol!!!

Oh! And one last thing I'm not quite sure of. Are the Doom Patrol part of A.R.G.U.S. now? And if so, when did this happen? Because this is the first time I've heard of it.

Now I know I've used this musical paring before, comic book fans, yet for the life of me, I can't help but match-up this tale to the rap battle between RUN-DMC and Aerosmith. You know. For fairly obvious reasons, you've just got to 'Walk This Way' baby.

No matter how you look at it, this adventure tells the tale of two opposing parties tussling against each other for a grand prize. So with that in mind, how can I not compare it to a tug of war competition?

Come on. You know it makes sense.

At the very end of this comic book, Batman and the Justice League decide to give something to Lex Luthor for his noted assistance. So just for fun, can you guess what it is out of the following eight options? Could it be...

  1. A subway ticket to Hell.
  2. Twenty ton's of potato salad.
  3. A $10 ITunes gift voucher.  
  4. The opportunity of have mad passionate sex with Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie, and Natalie Portman.
  5. A wig made from albino flees.
  6. Membership into the Justice League.
  7. A chance to win $30 from Ript Apparel (click on the link for more details)
  8. The opportunity of have mad passionate sex with Elma Fudd.

Nuff said. 

JUSTICE LEAGUE #33 JUSTICE LEAGUE #33 Reviewed by David Andrews on September 15, 2014 Rating: 5
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